reading helter skelter

2007-05-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

well hullo everybody.

it has been far too long since i last checked in here to scribble a few lines about my entertainingly boring life.. feeling quite bored and sleepless now, so i thought ohwhattheheck and decided to come back here after a good span of,..... a good 3 months at least?? now THATS what i call a hiatus!

the rolling months have been absolutely dreadful, with school to go to and appointments to keep and promises to fulfill and tests to slaughter. the single only thing that has kept me going on since the start of this term was that the saving redemption of the june holidays were coming... and of course along with that the numerous random mini- holidays that pitted term 2.

so, as of where i last stopped blogging, many things have changed. shifted from vjc to acjc, although now, in hindsight, i AM kinda quite regretting that decision to be a smart ass and dictate what i thought was right at that time and just stay put in vj, and of course, i do miss vj alot. the class, the band. sigh. been blaming myself quite a bit lately for the depression all this episode had cause this few months. shouldn't have went to that party that day, shouldn't have called ---.. should have sucked it in and stick through the two years, should have listened closer to the yelling of my heart to stay put.. and on and on.. never a shortage of childing for myself. i still do not know if what i did was the right choice at all, i really don't.. but i'm certain that ac is not a bad school either. met many new people and i'm fine in school. and things went in ways that it would not have gone if i stayed in vj.. but whatever it is, i know that if it was the wrong choice, i'm paying the price for not listening to divine advice earlier this year. oh how i tend to make drastically wrong decisions that make my life difficult. take another example, changed from a band boy to a tracker and fencer. not very smart a decision, but it was governed by my want to try something new.. we shall see what that brings in time to come, but currently? all its bringing is sore muscles and bs and cs for tests. oh btw, i failed both my lit tests for the term.. how sad.

so yes, i went for the vjcsb concert yesterday, majestia xxii. it was not too bad, loved their spastacus. never knew it matured into a smashing good piece! btw, vjc got gold with honours for their syf and are playing in the presentation night.. hope to get tix. AND, great job guys for the concert and syf. so i was sitting there with aaron darren yirui and melly, and i was thinking to myself, damn, i could have been there playing.. i practiced this piece too, and ended up leaving. what followed was the pattern of thought simillar to the paragraph above.. but hey, least i got to see many familliar faces and say hi/ talk to people that i haven't seen in months.. mieo ting, christina, mark, eric, shushan, matthew etc etc... been too long. well, at least i've got the invitation now to come back more to say hi. you guys will be seeing more of me soon then. =) haha.. OH, and i said hi to lao shi too... she was happy to see me. and she missed me. AHAHAHAHA! =D

the concert ended at 10ish, and i was supposed to go to gabrina eden and jean's party at ariel's place. for one, i did not know who ariel was, and where her house was. haha.. they called me to bring friends, so i asked ian along, who couldn't make it cause his mom said no.. haha its fine dude! BUT, seeing that my parents were out, and i was too lazy to take a bus right up to the west, and i didn't have money for a cab, and the party consisted of people that i didn't even know! and that pak kee also couldn't make it cause his parent's said no, i went for supper with darren yirui aaron melly lima and her friend benjamin instead. haha..

went to the coffee club at siglap, where i had by DINNER, at 11ish mind you all, while they had their slices of sinful cheesecake and mudpies.. ok, so i did have myself a lovely cheesecake after dinner too, but hey lets face it. i'm skin and bones. haha. we caught up, talked about first 3 months, JLKF and his bloody gay antics, and laughed and laughed. right, actually aaron did most of the laughing.. or cackling if you might so call it that.. it was really fun. a great way to end my term i must say! kinda poetic i thought.. i started the term leaving a new beginning behind to trace back my roots, leaving behind my new "old" friends and band life in the process, and ended it with a reunion with old friends and the band again. it came full circle. kinda thematic. like LOST, which, was a spectacular season finale last thursday. can't wait for season 4. so yea, my term ended nicely and i got the invitations to come back more often again! =D yay i will i will lima! after that yirui and melly sent me home in their cab before headed homeward bound. thanks you two! and i walked home thereafter, a happier dude, who found his soul again that day, into the moonlight...

AND THUS, the holidays begin. one month of rest. one month of serious kick ass freak mugging. one month of play. one month of party. one month of friends. really hope i'll do well in the terms... gotta work towards that.. haven't really been walking alongside with God these few months i gotta admit.. plan to take this holidays to find myself again, and to come back to the right path.. i really hope he does his magic in me again these two years. its not so much about the proving that one can do well and yet still be able to play and be whacky, its more about the SELF KNOWLEDGE AND SATISFACTION that you've got BALANCE, and can be a really FUNKY NERD, while the rest settles for the latter of the capitalized words alone. yupp. thats my goals folks. the race is on.

joshua is back...
but sleepy.
cheers world.

2007-03-24T02:21:00.000-07:00

Hello all, apologies for the lack of updates as of late.
Laptop crashed due to silly brothers and messed up hard drive space or summat along that sort.
Thus, as that little sad piece of information would have implied, i have been pretty distant from this little world we so poignantly call THE WORLD, but, still surviving. Thank the stars.
Well, the days have been rolling, and i am sure it would be rather pleasing to some to know that i, have been rolling around with this huge mess we call days down a pretty steep slope as of late.
Been home late most of the week, due to confounded journeys, joined up two pretty gruelling ccas for the fun of "change", and being shamelessly labelled by people, FRIENDS included as a snob, and a model example. for one, isn't it amazing how insanely perfect my life is? and for two, God i hate being looked and scrutinised at and expected to do things that sometimes might not even agree with me but unfortunatly have to be done for namesake, and for three, its not good to judge a book by its cover.

goodnessihatethisspacebar.. fridaywasgreat.metupwiththeguysbackinfairfield,headedfordinner!
haha..goodnessimisseveryone.

cheers

2007-03-10T08:49:00.000-08:00

So, the deal with these few days:

1. I finally left VJ to join in the ranks of fellow ACSians. God it still really has not sunken in yet, and being in a totally new environment again makes things feel even more surreal, not that it hasn't been as surreal enough as before, but everything else in this moment feels very airy like, as if taken half out of a sweet storybook and a particularly bad nightmare, or as Rachel in friends would call it, "the world's worst hangover." Well, i am particularly thankful for the fact that at least even though things around me are changing again, I am in a place filled with a certain familiarity and nostalgia, and that in its sense definatly comforts me. It, however is darn sad to know that not most of the fairsian population would be joining us in AC. I came to AC dreaming that there would be an influx of fairsians, something much resembling that of what miss lim said not too long ago about most of 4D 4E and 4F making it there, not saying that the other classes are not very much liked to be seen there of course! but you guys know.. the social stigmas and all, expects us to be were we are expected to be. That being said, sometimes don't you just wish that sucessful education here wouldn't be that much of a social dogma than it already is. Sure it does do us good in the long run, it does help the country flourish at the end of the day, but to what extent and cost does that bring to the poor little children that are constantly labeled and categorized according their intelligences to different compartments in the education drawer? Hmm i don't know.. i'm just for having a fine education and a balanced lifestyle.. and by fine i do not mean tuition at the age of 7. THAT is just gross.. haha.

2. Did i say before that i was going to miss VJC?? OH YES. gonna miss VJC alot i guess.. actually, the only thing that i really really miss alot is the class. Yes the very wonderful class that i was blessed to have. 07s33! well, to all s33ers who do come by here once in a while, i must really say that we were easily the most rockin class in the entire batch! we definatly did show everyone else what havin fun in school meant, and though most of us have left to go to other places of our own choices, what's most important is the memories that we all had, and of course, the ending, where we will all meet again. I quote T.S. Elliot, ..."And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time..." I'll see you guys when i'll next see you.

3. Putting on the Slacksville sign right now. Due to the full swing of the orientation, i decided to take a long break myself, before real work starts over the hols! Hopefully the time i gave myself to recover after the long recovery after the december hols was not too long, but not too short! Next week's gonna be a very busy week....
OH and do make it for chapelthon all you fairsians out there! next tuesday, dunno what time to 10 pm.. 630 i think?? hahahaha...

4. I'm really lookin forward to next month! cause come next month next year, both jacq and i would be steppin into new theatre grounds! Ian and i can then talk about the road trips and them drinks we'll get! Elis can finally bug me to get her that cocktail! I will drag Nat into a club and remove her "good girl" sign! hahaha! lookin forward to the much delayed april baby celebrations! don't we all rock? =P

haha i'm getting tired.. you guys have a wonderful holiday ahead!
cheers!

2007-02-25T01:03:00.000-08:00

Its been quite a while since i've blogged,

and for some very peculiar and unknown reasons,

i don't have a very good excuse as to why such a freak phenomenon is happening.

The last post was 3 weeks ago.

Thats why backward, if you would ask any blogger out here in these vast plains.

Its long enough to make foot squished grape juice into wine.

How horrid.

Anywho, I must definatly say that this year has been very faux.

I have no idea what the word faux means.

It just came so as fitting for the sentence.

Anyway, whether or not faux is appropriate for the sentence,

This year so far, in all the shortness of the quick 2 plus plus months,

has been rather stale for me,

in a more colloquial way,

this year damn sian leh..

Many things have been weighing on my mind since the first day of school begun,

and though i'm still in the midst of piecing together events to eventually form a good enough thesis and structure about what the hell these 2 plus plus months have been about,

I must say i do feel a sense of displacement as of late.

I shall thus explain myself one final time to everyone,

and anything pertaining to this matter henceforth from today on would probably be taken in with the showy length of my middle finger.

I have decided, after 6 days of very terrible and horrid headaches,

to finally go to ACJC.

i know for most, this would be received with a wide bug eyed stare,

complimented with thoughts of "this guy is crazy" and all,

or maybe "traitor traitor!!" from the victorian side..

Bugger, this is even harder to explain.

Actully having a hard time explaining to people that i meet.

Its just that ACJC feels correct.

I've been to AC a few times already, and everytime i walk through those gates,

something inside me feels correct.

Not that VJ is not correct or anything,

But...... ahhh hell abndsivgbiab....

Okay. in short, its my perogative.

cheers!

OH P.S. Pool anyone?? hahahaha...

2007-02-10T09:34:00.000-08:00

The Lord Blessed me on Friday.
Praise the LORD!!!!
Thank you Lord for EVERYTHING.

But now i'm confused.
torn between two places.
Somehow my heart is set on one,
but is it the right choice?

I need His Guidance one more time...
Help.

2007-02-06T05:41:00.000-08:00

Hello all!

Its finally tuesday.. and that does not bode well.

Oh no no no no no......

3 more days to reality.

Thats good in a way that we'll get to see everyone again!

But darn sucky in THAT way that we would have to face up to reality.

I'm darn worried..

On one hand there's a possibility that dreams would be realised and happiness would prevail.

But on the other its a really really bad nightmare.

Shit happens, but still there's always a silver lining.

Egad! its so "on-the-fence"!!

Then there's the decision whether to go AC or to stay in VJ.

VJ might be a very good school, with a superb culture, and i have a really swell class.. but i dunno,

is it worth it to feel "discontented" and unsettled in a school even if its good?

On the other hand, AC would be just like home,

I'll feel more comfortable, have old friends, seniors, new friends,

Culture's pretty much on par with fairfield, something that i WOULD be happy with,

I don't know... i'm pretty torn between both schools.

The people at VJ give me the "WHAT??" stare when i mention AC..

well, they seem to have the wrong perception somehow..

Like my lit teacher when she was way younger, at our age,

I feel like some alien that landed on some different planet.

Trouble is, she had friends of the same kind of schools to be with.

I'm.. kinda splat?

well.. i have no idea what this friday would be like..

i shall just try to be calm and composed.

haha.

2007-01-28T10:39:00.000-08:00

Well, behold!
I am still wide awake! the clock beside my bed says: 2:38.
God i'm so gonna have a very heavy eyelid tomorrow.
Just done with the movie closer.
Yes, its got Jude Law in it. No i'm not obsessed.
Quite confusing i must say? Din't really grab on much. Quite Lit-ty i must admit.
So, what has happened in the discreet, almost mundane life of Joshua?
Well, nothing much these few days.. stayed in the loft most of the time to get tutorials done.
Muse, Pen, Scratch the paper. Yada Yada Yada. The same thing as two years before;
Though, i must swear the feeling two years before was different. It was New.
Well hell, one year ago it felt, Apprehensive.
It actually felt, The Same yesterday when i did it.. God i need a girlfriend.
No, i'm just kidding actually. Things like that are not meant to be asked.
They are meant to be Given.
So anyway, the main highlight probably for the day was that i managed finally to get a neo-casual balzer for any so occasion that might pop up unexpectedly anytime in the year.
I thought it went quite well with the wardrobe, though i did doubt it quite a bit at first.
Well, you know, the usual cynical, dubious joshua. hasn't changed much now hasn't he?
You know, as we hit the third, or was it fourth? or fifth for that matter week of the year,
two things get very clear to you. The first one would be, God, where the hell are all my old friends? and the next would be, why the hell do i even bother?
You see, not meaning to be rude or to hurt anybody's feelings or anything, but really, what does it take to get a little appreciation these days?
I mean, i'm talking about this in a very subjective way here. In general, let me ask you frolics of the general populace, have you ever had that feeling where you just felt you were so under appreciated that, even a whale could have felt that hurt? that one where its pretty much not about getting the thanks, but its just not a blithering right feeling about it?
I mean like bollocks! sure we don't mind doing things and all, and we really don't mind not getting the thanks. But to that level?? i mean don't get me wrong, i'm not aiming at anybody here, but shut the frack up! haha.. its just absurd don't you think??
Yes, i just had THAT feeling.... for whatever the hell reasons i don't know.
And NO its not anyway connected to the past all you past linkers.
Its just a sudden moment. THAT was the main point for all you who missed it. haha.
I'm sure you've all had it too.
Oh my... i'm sure i'll do well for stream of conciousness.. or was it what that's called?
yea i learn well from my lit class.. haha.. its this poem where all it talks about is the poet's thoughts.
Very Random.
Might have acheived that today.
By the way, i want to play pool. Soon.
Any takers?
Oh and by the way, to answer the previous thought questions about where my old friends were?
Oh i sorry.. wrong use of grammer.. where my FRIENDS still ARE?
Hell, they're right beside me. Always.
Thanks Guys.
Cheers.

2007-01-25T06:49:00.000-08:00

If Six was a plenty,

Then Three would be scarcity.

If One were once to tarry,

Then We wouldn't been so weary.

But something happened that very day,

One's matter in which I would have never a say,

Oh no; One would never never tarry,

And so left me torn, tattered, and weary.

greetings all citizens of earth!

haha i'm back! after an exceptionally LONG hiatus from this job.

Right, quick update on life;

School's been really great!

starting to enjoy it bit by bit as each day passes,

hopefully i'll be settled good enough to prevent myself from being tossled later by the blustery winds of the south.

Made some new friends,

mostly from my class, and i must say,

if i were to stay on,

i think i'll end up havin quite a bit of fun... heh...

BUT!

i MISS all you guys out there terribly, as usual.

been seeing pockets of fairsians hither and tither,

either for lunch, dinner, pool, movies or class!

Somehow, i have a very quaint feeling within me now,

that eagerness to see all you guys again during the results day!

yes, call me morbid... but hey, come to my situation and i'll bet my bottom dollar you'll be thirsting to see, hear and smell fairsians too!

I realised i haven't done a sum up of 2006 last year,

partially due to the fact that i was outside enjoying the festivities with the bubbly festivity gang!

Hmm.. of which i also do have photos of, but tragically all in film,

due to the fact that i've been playing around with my uncle's film SLR;

So, until i find some way to get the film into the comp,

well, we'll have to keep it as thats that!

ANYWAY,

the summation of 2006, in a few words:

(That goes without saying...)

FSB

(The GOOD, the bad, the crazy, the bitchy and the downright unpleasant)

Canteen Crazies

(Well... we had fun no?)

Chiang Mai

(Always will be in my heart. Loved every moment spent there with everyone. Seconds anyone?)

13th April

(YAY JACQ!!! That day, we turned 16! and you grew shorter! i meant TALLER!!)

A Bright New World

(Was more like a cam whore session.)

Prelims

(Been there, done those...)

VJ failed DSA =D

(Well, that was a Good expierience... really..)

Mugging

Miss Ho's wedding

(Joa's Fave Day!)

18th Sept

(To that dear friend, hope you did enjoy yourself then. Thank you for being such a dear friend.)

23rd Sept

(To this other dear thing with the birthday celebrated in Four parts, Thank you too..)

(you two better be happy!! i could only rmb these 2 vividly due to their quite big scale planning)

Learn @ Fairfield

(Most vivid creature: CARISSA HONG)

Queensway Library

(Crazy eating sessions.)

Esplanade

(Many people... many memories..)

NewYork NewYork

(Mel and JY's erm... beards?? Ian and Mel's LAUGHTER... my word....)

The Os

16th November!

(The sweetest day of the YEAR)

Class Chalet

(Whoo yea!)

Italy

(Truely beautiful, wonderfully awe inspiring.)

Christmas

(Lets do it again this year you people!! 11 more months!)

New Years!

(This year too... haha.)

Yeaaa.... thats it?

i'm racking my brain..

can't seem to think of any other BIG, MAJOR things events any other than those mentioned.

SO thats IT!

TA DA!

2006 in Words.

Till later.

Cheers.

2007-01-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

Looks like i was wrong,
Terribly wrong.
Well, continuing from the previous post,
I took whatever everyone had to say, and thought bout it,
And prayed, of course, for guidance and help.
And Lo and Behold! the second and third day wasn't so bad at all!
In fact, i did have a tad bit of fun, and i'm definatly lookin forward to the proper lessons and such.
Met my class yesterday. They seem like a nice bunch.
haha. anyway, got a chance to go back to Fairfield yesterday!
GOODNESS, i was ELATED! HAPPY! JOYOUS!
never thought i could be so happy seeing old faces again!
haha, lookin forward to every back to school visits and outings more now!
Juniors, please listen to your dear seniors! CHERISH FAIRFIELD!
haha yep, anyway, i'll have to pop now..
some event happenin at hiag's gals to collect some cash.
heehee.. till then folks!

cheers!
p.s. THANK YOU ALL WHO TALKED SENSE INTO ME.

2007-01-03T07:50:00.000-08:00

The first day of school after a long, long while.

Today was quite difficult for me.

Never had imagined that i would have that much difficulties on the first day.

Frankly?

The school that i had dreamt about for four whole years?

Let me down on the very first day.

I don't know.. maybe it was the atmosphere? culture change? people?

but i never felt that silent before in my entire life.

Going to a new school with different people alone is difficult,

i concluded today as i skipped across the raod back home.

Got home, thought about how stupid i was to have thought that i can do this alone.

Total madness, i tell myself now.

Great, now i'm far from where the people who had been a part of 10 years in my life is,

and even further from letting go and giving in to the fact that i am already in this school.

So i called people, asked them how it was.

A few was fine, a few fun, a few thrown into the same flustering situation as myself.

And the questions whether it was the right choice kept sliding across my mind.

I kicked myself hard for not praying about it 4 weeks ago,

i missed the culture, the devotions, the faces badly,

and it did not make matters any better that people called me joe-shua.

But somehow inside of me i felt that burning feeling,

that feeling that i should probably give this another shot tomorrow,

be happy, take this lead and make my own fun.

Hey this school might not be the school that has watched me grow in the past couple of years,

much in contrast to its school anthem, i must admit, sidetracking.

It blatantly had the words "this school that watched me grow".

yea right. i'm 90 percent fairsian whether you like it or not.

anyway, though this school has not watched me grow,

i'd still have the make the best of it.

2 years is a very short time, considering the 10 years i've been through..

but still there was that wrapped up insecurity that held fast within me.

I could not let go.

i could not take His hands and let him lead me into a new beginning,

for i was afraid of what was going to happen to the past.

what if it just, dissappears?

i've seen things drifting apart in these 10 years,

and i certainly do not want the past 2 years to ever go that easily.

So as i stood at the tip of the cliff, looking over my shoulder at the past and contemplating the future,

I realised that i had to let go,

to put it in His hands that the past would always be apart of me,

and it would be beautifully interwoven with the future.

Let me try tomorrow.

Dear Lord, please be with me.

Amen.

Cheers.

2006-12-30T04:58:00.000-08:00

Salutations people of earth!

Apologies for the very sparse blogging life in this very page,

But the lazy bug has been troubling me quite lately,

and due to that very sticky situation

things tend to get quite slow up in the old bean!

Sooo, if you would say,

Mental blocks and roadblocks did slow down some of the bean's functions.

BUT,

life has been great for this old bird here!

couldn't have been better if one were to put it so!

I don't know bout you chaps out there,

but the idea of being in a new place, with new people, and a totally new environment

in like, 4, 5? days time is kinda apprehensive no?

Both good and bad connotations meant of course..

But of course, there is still the remainder of the holidays left to enjoy,

and I, for one plan to enjoy EVERY SINGLE ITSY BITSY MOMENT.

Like you can say, i'm a man on a mission.

Yea, kinda cliche, but what the hell.

Now, judging on what a blog is supposed to be like,

i should probably now inform you guys what the few days have been like.

In a nutshell?

Pool. Movies. Pool. More movies. The occasional wedding dinner. Even more movies. photography. shopping without getting anything. have i said movies yet?

Haha... seriously, i would so not be surprised if my paycheck can't even pay for the things i've been doing!

Haha!

Well, had the occasional dinner on wed with my family,

haha food was great and all,

had fun crapping and making jokes out of EVERYTHING..

haha that was good fun!

The next 3 days i caught movies,

in a row belive it or not.

Thursday: The Holiday with Ian, who was nice; and crazy enough to come all the way to tampines mall! dude that was nice of you.. haha.. yea the holiday is a SWELL show.. got me thinkin quite a bit there!

Friday: Night at the meuseum with JY, Lissa and Jacq

Joa was supposed to turn up, but she was too tired i guess.

NATM was not too bad... not as good as the Hol, but passable i must say!

After that decided to play pool, and voila!

met kong and aaron at paradigm..

Played quite a bit! and i did have fun lettin jacq win with my careless putting in of the white/ black balls!

Saturday: Movie with HIASTER.

She was nice enough to come out with 4E lit class,

But only rachel, joyce, jane and i turned up.

how silly. hahaha! BUT, due to SOME OTHER FACTORS,

i didn't mind anyway.

Caught charlotte's web.

Now i understand why that bloody movie was a lit book.

haha yupp so that was my week in a description a little bigger than a NUTSHELL.

Tommorow:

COUNTDOWN! hahaha! meetin the christmas countdown gang again,

this time with added ppl like cedric, norman, tiff, maybe jane, natalina and some others, can't really rmb now?

sit around, chat a bit, walk a distance, booze the night away!

hahahaha.. one more day to the new year.

This year indeed has passed FAST.

So yupp. thats all i can offer you guys about my life currently,

soon to come would be the first day of school!

lets see what that brings eh..

cheers all!

--Pictures--

the wedding

Dan, grace and josh and the yummy fish !

Grace and I!

6 cousins, 1 gf, and 2 missing! the FAMILY.

I promise the trip pictures soon.

2006-12-24T12:26:00.000-08:00

Oh My word!
I just realised that its the 100th post! on christmas itself!
Firstly, to everyone hither and tither,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
haha! hope Santa did visit with a few goodies in his bag!
Today wasn't soo bad! In fact, it was THE whackiest christmas ever!
So its 4:28 now and i'm already QUITE dozing off.
Just came back like, half an hour ago.
Went to battle the orchard crowd today with Ian, Alex, JY, Jacq, Kim and Enshao!
BOY I HAD FUN!
although the foam stank, the crowd was seriously a killer, and we almost got into the middle of a fight,
It was still the whackiness of it and the craziness of the people who went that made the night so interesting!
Erm, at this point, guys, interested in the new year's one? "heavy hinting.."
Haha, anyway, we roamed around town, sprayed a few poor people, got sprayed at,
and then proceeded to holland crystal jade for a VERY early breakfast.
Congee with light sauce/ pepper and ian's beef noodle sauce for 1.50!
Very worth it! haha!

okay before that was celebrations both in grams and church.
haha, i'm very disorientated now..
forgive me..
point is, i had a LOVELY christmas!
cheers all!

2006-12-23T05:55:00.001-08:00

Hey guys!

haha, i just realised that i haven't really put up photos of my trip..

apologies.. laziness and joshua click very well together.. haha..

those up soon.

Feeling the buildup day by day!

like Billy Mack might say,

"I feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes.."

Christmas is hotfooting its way towards us,

and whoo, am i getting happier!

Been heading out most of the past week,

scavenging around town and other spots to look for stuff for oneself or friends.

You could call it "enjoying every last bit of the hols."

haha well, feeling quite bored now actually..

oh i say..

cheers!

2006-12-22T01:16:00.000-08:00

It all extends from stress, as they always say.

It is quite quaint how people tend to work themselves up so much that on one faithful day, when all the stress builds up against them and squeezes them like how a kid would do to a very pitiful stress ball, they snap with a sickening squelch and lands face first into a pot of boiling hot water, (not that that actually happens, for that matter, but it just might, just…).

And then after that sickening experience, those who managed to keep alive then goes for a CLAIMED hiatus, when firstly the choice of destination isn’t even far flung and secondly when their Hawaiian shirts are still locked up 6 feet deep into their cupboards.
They then so return after a few short days, ironically, and start to sit in the pressure cooker once again, patiently waiting for things to start simmering again, and so we have the whole act once again, repeated over and over till the one faithful day when, our dear person finally falls face first into that pot of boiling water: this time literally meant.

Not that I’m stressing myself out at the moment, but right now, I’m feeling precariously perched at the edge of BORE MOUNTAIN with nothing but a small packet of Smints.

“The life in a common office bores me”, thought Joshua as he thought of what else to type to continue this life saving prose. Around him sounds and voices were at a buzz, silly plastic contraptions rang like phones, people chattered, paper shredded and the occasional rumble of the mammoth copier standing astutely in the corner of a big, white washed floor sounded in perfect rhythm and symphony with each other. “Well, I would not want to be back in this silly little rummy place,” he mused as he eavesdropped to listen to the many different conversations that were bouncing off the perfectly white walls. One about some student that failed something sometime, another about funny Chinese colleagues… “Oh the usual titter tatter gossip you find among such tittering tattering gossipy people” he mumbled under his breath as he continued to type a third person narrative story on the terminal he was using. He was told when he first came not to do things of such, but, looking at the situation around him, and the many masses and scores of mice playing due to the infamously fat tabby not being at home, he decided that he would bypass the silly rule for once and start preoccupying himself with such titter tatter. “ You see?” Joshua asked his invisible audiences somewhere over the rainbow. “I am so bored that I have to type in third person! How rummy!” It is not sure how his audiences would react, but Joshua smiled to think that they would find him a little eccentric, if not perhaps a tad bit loony. But, alas, such contrivances could not be helped when one, especially in the case of Joshua, was feeling particularly bored.

So, office life really IS a dud. A bore at top grade, and a complete waste of electricity, while we are at the blithering subject of wastage. So I hope all of you work hard, study smart and prevent yourself from getting into the thresholds of an office. At least from this one that is.

Tally Ho!
Cheers.

2006-12-17T08:07:00.000-08:00

Helllo world!
Haha, just came back from a fabulous, i say again FABULOUS jazz concert!
Hiromi!, at the esplanade.
Attended with Ian, Evan goh and Yun Xing.
I tell you, THEY'RE ALL CRAZY!!
one on the piano, one on the bass guitar, one on the drums,
Totally CRAZY SEXY JAZZ!
Been a while since i've been to such a good jazz concert, and boy, did it send waves of ergonomic convulsions down my spine!
I'm sorry, but to those whom are not to familliar with me, i think playing and listening to jazz is better than making love.
Not that i've tried the latter of course, but, what can i say? I LOVE JAZZ.
TOTALLY.
haha! glad they enjoyed the crazy trio..
Ian just made the bassist his new idol. haha!
Till the next one then!
Cheers!

jane! i'm so sorry i did not have time to call you back!
was i supposed to btw?
haha sorry.. but thanks for the chat last night! you're lucky! know that! hahaha!

2006-12-15T08:52:00.000-08:00

Greetings World!
I am back, and DAMN, THAT place was SWEET!
Really beautiful place it is, filled with flaura, fauna and people!
haha.. i'll upload photos soon.. too lazy today..
Talk more about it another day.

Well, my enjoyment kinda gets cut short at the end of the week,
cause i'm gonna start work on monday.. for one week!
filling in for someone at mom's office.. haha!
think i'll like it there..

Well, life actually is the same back in singapore..
went out immediatly once i touched down..
walked around with aunty jac and val, caught a movie.. trust the man..
not THAT good in my opinion.. would have liked dejavu or flyboys better i felt..
anyway, was good to be out with friends again i must admit..
had dinner in the village and then headed home.. hmm.. was dead tired when i got home..
cause i had been awake for more than 24 hours, and had seen sunshine for also more than 24 hours..
so, after settling a problem that was stuck in ice for a long time,
and feeling my heart considerably lighter for once in the past many months, i hit the bed.

Next day was another outing, first had to do some errand running..
waited for quite long just to get a few things done..
and then rushed down to meet weijie, jane and carissa in town to go play pool.
met kong in meridian, and pooled for say, 3 hours? haha! pool till SIAN.
the gals came to join us in a bit.. and they started playing too..
bye the half way point i was reeling with a tad bit of exhaust.. cause i was still a little lagged.
so after dinner, arcade, and walking around we finally were able to head home! haha..
bro bought some cool mario game! haha and kept me busy for a while.. damn.. i'm young at heart.. haha!

today woke up damn late.. cause of the lag.. at 12!! misery cordia...
when i woke up, i was like ah what the hell and decided to head straight down to the barber to get my hair cut SHORT.
and damn, i did it! haha.. so i've a new hairstyle now and i like it! haha.. val says its better than the old one! =D
after that went to town to accompany val and evan goh in their shopping spree..
wow.. those gals really know how to shop boy..
evan bought 7 shirts! val 3! my goodness.. haha!
saw a cool pair of shades! but didn't have enough bread to snag them..
lent cash to val to get a really nice skirt that really suited her.. hope she liked it!
Now i'm looking for shades, a blazer, leather jacket and a big buckled belt and a canon D30 SLR. haha!
saw a really swell armani belt in whereever! a big buckled one!
but it was 123 donkeys! thats like 200 plus in sing! goodness..
anyway.. christmas is coming! so.. can't hurt to wish right? haha!

sorry, i'm actually just reiterating.. but you gotta let me get my blog-legs first.. haha..
been a while since i did any blogging.. sigh..
somehow i'm loving the lifestyle we're having.. its really great..
but what really shakes me is that its gonna end soon, and i may not see some of you all again..
that's why i'm slacking soooo much! haha..
anyway.. next year is gonna be an interesting year! have to quickly mend something, and get suited into jc life
looking forward to it? not THAT soon.. but i guess i'll have to take things in stride..
you couldn't exactly call life very predictable now could you?

we shall just see what happens then.
cheers!

2006-12-01T08:40:00.000-08:00

Earghh.. This is bad.. This is really really bad..
I'm tired, and all i managed to do was pile my clothes on top of my luggage..
The two idiotic brothers of mine aren't helping much too, walking around the house having a sietsta, making me fuming mad at them..
I'm screwed.. i don't have a bag to bring along.. and i just realised it now..
No wait, actually i realised it this afternoon, but my mom refused to realise it until about like now..
well done..

Damn it la.. the diesel is too small to put anything in.. one jacket and the whole bag is full.. sheesh.. let alone the camera, batteries, cards, my book and misc still have to fit in..
saw a really nice vintage one today at far east.. but my mom refused to get it, all thanks to the stupid tear at the bag..
was heartbroken.. haha.. cause i fell in love with that bag the moment i saw it..
shat this is bad.. i'm not very relaxed for this holiday..
so ironic.. a holiday is meant to let one relax, not let one blow his top and feel all stressed about it..

anyway, where am i going? i'll give yall guys a clue.. haha.

I am going to this place, where the sun would strike my face,
To there i call a rest, of all my adventures this is best.
Allow me to tell you where it is, through this little rhyme you seek,
Look carefully at these words and you'll find, the answer to this, "oh a sign". So can
You guess the place? if not i bid you, good grace.

I'll see you all in 10 days.
cheers.

2006-11-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

If you take a life do you know what you'll give?
Odds are, you won't like what it is.
When the storm arrives, would you be seen with me?
By the merciless eyes of deceit?

I've seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line.

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?
The coldest blood runs through my veins,
You know my name

If you come inside things will not be the same
When you return to the night
And if you think you've won
You never saw me change
The game that we all been playing

I've seen diamonds cut through harder men
Than you yourself
But if you must pretend
You may meet your end

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?
The coldest blood runs through my veins

Try to hide your hand
Forget how to feel
Life is gone with just a spin of the wheel

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?
The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name

Ahh this song is one of the BEST out of all the Bond songs.
Chris cornell, Orchestra, subtle interweaving of previous bond themes, angry trumpets and zestful violins,
what more can one ask of a Bond theme?
haha.. its equally good as the movie that it comes along with.
Great plot, great bond, dazzling bond girl, crazy villians, and of course, yet another psychedellic intro.
In short, Bond rocks.
I'm sure ian would agree.. haha..

Class chalet in a few minutes? haha.. was supposed to leave house 1 hr ago,
but i guess i got a little preoccupied over something.
meeting nat at dunno what time at dunno where, pasirris i think.. haha..
Hopefully this chalet would be fun..
haha.. well, isn't that what everybody hopes?

Flying off in 3 days time, sigh..
not telling where.. for very obvious reasons.. haha.. right jane?
taking a 2 week block off my dec hols..
when i get back, God forbid i should not spend anymore money..
been putting the over in the word overboard lately,
when everybody else is working their asses off out there trying to get a job..
Maybe i should find one just for the last 2 weeks of hols..
Jazz concert coming up, boy am i excited..
Tango.. here i come! haha!

Okay, probably not making anymore sense..
gonna meet nat now.
goodbye world.
Joy, enjoy your trip too!!
haha

cheers.

2006-11-20T22:52:00.000-08:00

Doesn't one sometimes have that dashed feeling when one doesn't know which side one is on,
And is caught right between the two places, in the huge void of uncertainty and doubt?
I often hear such chappies talk about this, whether in some movie, book or experiences,
But never in my most wildest, exotic imaginations did i ever expect that this true bout of shakespearean tragedy to befall upon me,
And here i was thinking that God disliked the cliche and went with the mysterious, unexpected tales.
It is kind of rummy, being in this splendid disposition,
Feeling all mangled up and treated unrightly,
One just wants answers to this sickly situation, but at this time answers seem to breed more questions, and more questions lead to inevitable frustration and doubt.
Now because of that, one thinks with all the power of the old bean up there,
And spends a fortnightly minute thinking about the possible wronged senarios that might have happened,
But soon, one realises that unless he has answers, which he obviously does not posses, he cannot find the right questions, so to speak.
So he lets it go, thinking that time, the great healer would placade the offended and call this truce.
But, unfortunatly, again unlike what happens in perfectly good fairy tales,
The Great Healer time in itself has a very mangled and morbid sense of humour.
It is to one's great suspicion that time, along with fate one day sent one back down the path of life.
One finds life back under his feet and continues, the pain and frustration gnawing at his heart slowly ebbing away.
But alas, a few blocks down life's road later,
The michevious time and fate throw into one's path, a bout of memory and reason!
One, having gone quite a bit down the happy way, stumbles and piruettes like a fat dancer, fortunatly nimble enough to land on one's toes.
The irony of it! So blatant, such perpetual mischeviousness!
The revalation startles one into thought again,
And he once again stands at the edge of the road, not to check the time, mind you,
But wondering again, what how is the matter with life's humourous banter?

2006-11-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

Good day to all!

Once again, congrats to ALL who survived the Os,
It still strikes me as quite surreal, what we've all been through.
Still haven't gotten used to my currently loose as slack schedule,
But i do guess it will soon sink in, somehow or rather.
BUT, the air does smell sweeter and fresher,
And the weather less blustery as before this peace.
Been hanging out pretty much these few days,
Too much done, too much to record, so much more to do.
The perfect phrase that fits this occasion now is,
"I love my lifestyle."

Amen.
Cheers!

2006-11-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

Closure.

I see light, and hell, light NEVER looked that good.
Hello my new life.

Congrats sec 4 and 5s,
We made it out together.

come to think of it, i'm gonna miss the study times.
the crapping, laughing, playing, studying, slacking, studying, have i said studying yet?
haha.
got to know more people i would have never imagined to have known in these 4 years.
I feel as if i have just made many profound and lasting contacts,
the ones that will stay, the ones that are being built, and the ones to be saved.
i want back into my life.

cheers.

2006-11-14T03:59:00.000-08:00

Looking back,
eleven months does seem to roll by quite fast, doesn't it?
from the two weeks of extended study, all the way to the final two days,
It's been quite a journey.
Call it a rite of passage,
call it a transcending discovery,
i'll stick to a journey.

We've been from bumbling rookies to masters at our own different subjects,
trained and whipped into shape the past twenty two months,
all just for the mere "lengthy" period of two weeks.
Hours spent understanding, mastering, practicing,
all amount to the sum of one, even two hours of a final showdown.
We have come down to the last two days,
The last 48 hours,
a point too late to turn back, but still early to fight on.

2 days,
The end is come.

2006-11-10T06:26:00.000-08:00

Okay yes.. the usual farce about not coming online because of o levels and blah blah the what-have-yous and the what-have-you-nots.

Its just threee days of papers left, the "big showdown" is comin pretty soon,
joshua versus chemistry paper 1,2 and a maths on a single day combo.
its quite a light ending besides this maddening combination.
but, think about the happiness after, the screaming, the smiles, the increasing global warming/ carbon dioxide emissions in the air due to our textbooks (social studies, for that matter) burning.
it just makes you wanna go on.. no?
haha..

its the 10th today, surprise surprise!
i did not even know, frankly,
had to check my phone for the date. that's how the os have caused "timelessness"
and no, we're all not in susila's plane.
been hanging out in LAF, LIB and HOME for the past, lets say gazillion years.
studying with a stellar ensemble including people like many people.
its really too much to name. haha.. too many classes too.. 4d right up to 4f..
ok.. its only 3 classes, but lets face it, i'm lazy.
an oscar winning performance, i must say, our studying,
and i'm just using movie jargons because i miss my monthly intake of movies.
last one was 2 months ago. scoop. alone.
haha.

well, the list of things to do just keeps going on and on and on.
for one, the new 007 looks good.
anyone game?

cheers.

2006-11-06T04:54:00.000-08:00

10 days in a jiffy.

goodbye krishna, governance, northen ireland and calculator-less papers.

its getting more beautiful day by day.
i'd might have sworn i can see myself smiling again.
haha. yes i'm still alive and kicking.

see you all in 10 days.
cheers.

2006-10-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

Okay this is totally unacceptable.
I've heard of Lady in the water,
but a Prawn in the water is just too much for me to take right now.
Just came home, and behold, i saw to my horror a prawn sitting happily at the bottom of the fish tank without the fish my dad is trying to rear.
Its all in the name of maturing the tank they say.
I just sit, and be amused.
haha.

Just to clear the cloudy water these days, (pun not intended,)
The crazy me is still alive.
yes, i'm not dead.
just because i get all murky and dark does not mean i'm dead,
buried six feet under,
or jumped and hauled away by aliens for that matter.
Lets just say i've been saving up on crazy fluids till after the big O.
Yes, to those who have already thought i was quite quirky the past 5 days or so,
I AM SAVING UP.
so there.
haha.

Let me assure all you readers out there (if there are any signs of you anymore that is),
that everything is still quite peachy, a ok.
save the scampering rats across the floor boards and the recent wave of tabloids crashing into my life,
everything is just perfectly fine.
really.

oh and one more thing,
the snapple quick fact today is:
Did you know that mosquitoes are attracted to people who recently had bananas?
Yupp, i know, i never knew too.
well, so for all those buzz lightyear fans out there,
TO INFINITY, AND BEYOND!!

cheers.
thank you for your kind indulgence.

2006-10-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

Sitting here wondering what the past few days have since meant to me really brings an empty ring to my head.
The days are getting longer yet compressed and i've lost track of time in its finest essence.
Everyday seems to be a notch in a spinning record.
The same things are being played over and over and over and over again.
Life seems to be spinning, yet i can't feel the most little things that come by me.
They call it numbness, a sense of shock,
But i think i would properly credit it to vacant-ness.
A vacuum where space and time has been properly flushed out, filtered, and what comes through is just a sense of senselessness.
I cannot really remember what has happened over the past one week, but strangly the facts that have been forced and squeezed into the depths of my brain seem to surface out without fail.
Everyday i rise without realising how peaceful the crisp morning air feels,
Depart without looking around at the things happening,
Mugg up without so much of a consternation till i get tired,
Eat without giving thanks,
Arrive without a word to family or friends,
Lie on my bed till the cycle repeats itself.
A vicious cycle repeating itself like a reused cliche,
Blandness and monochrome creeps into play.

Apologies on my absence the past week.
I'm sure without even giving a reason everyone should know the reason why.
Life is normal, as usual on the surface of things.
Everyone has since completed another year of formal schooling.
We're down to our last 13 days to the beginning,
And 20 odd days to the beginning of the end.
specks of light can already be seen.
Press on everybody.

2006-10-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

He has since crashed.
He had never felt such weight before in his entire life.
A staggering rip downwards, into the rolling depths of hell.
A continuum flurry of surpressed agony.
Unable to unleash them,
He sits and battles them, deep within the chambers of thought and memory.
Anger versus Peace, a face off that marrs the processes of the faculties.
By looks he blends into the surroundings,
A ubiquitous being, just like the rest scampering around him.
But inside mind and soul,
The darkness juxtaposes well,
A dark entity against the pureness of heavenly powers.
The loudness of the peaceful surrounding,
Pierces into the depths of his mind, and magnifies the echoes of the voices within.
Searching, crying, trying, but never finding the source.
He sits, he muses.
He has since crashed.

2006-10-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

The End is coming.

3 more days to.. the season finale if you might?

School's really starting to become a prattling bore these days.

The end seems so near but yet so distant that one just wants out almost immediatly.

Well, nothing really much to say actually.

Just came home.. been holing myself up at changi airport everyday..

rather explains the reason why i haven't been on msn for such a long time.

Seeing all the tour groups come and go past my studies,

i really just can't help it but to feel envious of them.

I want, okay.. cancel want.

I DESIRE to be on a plane..

I can't take the one plus month wait to get on it anymore..

"oh send me to those flames at once!"

- As quoted from krishna in his deep desperation.

Tomorrow's the last time to sing the school song.

Its gonna be a blast..

looking forward to sing it ONE LAST TIME.

hmm.. there's some vibe in those words i feel.

But then again it might just be my stomach complaining of midnight hunger.

Oh this is just positively exciting..

the season finale.. can you imagine that??

cheers.

2006-10-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

Hello world.
Been skimming on the top of things lately, never really had a chance to concern myself with things of late.
A bad consequence, i must frankly put it, a wrong step, equivilant to the misguided judgement of "The tiger is in the cage so i'm perfectly safe." mentality
Wrongo. folks if any of you ever have such silly frivolous judements, here's the sad reality.
Tear them up into little itty bitty pieces of scrap memory, and stuff it down your sibling's throats, or pet's for that very matter.

Truth is, i've been so dissociated with the revolving mass of cosmic protoplasm these few days that now i'm literally "Lost in Transition/Translation".
It ain't no disney Tom Hanks, Scarlett Johanssen Flick,
and i can bluntly tell all of you from this perspective here that it is very uber duber confusing.
Goodness its as confusing as having a female with male hormones going for a sex change, but still having to end up needing to put on make up and Goodness knows whatever contraptions just because he/she/he still thinks that she/he/she is still a woman. No wait, Man.. wait man like a woman, or something along that line.. goodness... see? even i'm getting confused now.

A consience tells me to see "what happens" in the weeks to come,
but then again, i have a feeling that if i don't settle it by the end of this week,
the world would come to a certain cataclysmic end.
okay, maybe its not THAT SERIOUS to the extent of a global armageddon,
but i have a certain hunch like quassimodo,
that if i don't solve this soon like a cheesy soduku puzzle wired to a bomb,
i'm gonna loose something i care alot about.

To whomever it may concern,
i really do not know what this is about,
but give me time,
i'll settle my life asap.
thanks for understanding, if understanding ever came across as a plea from one person that probably deserved a little better.
cheers.

2006-10-07T03:58:00.000-07:00

Under carissa's persuation, and guidance i present:

Understanding the Essence Of being Joshua, Part 1.
ENJOY!

http://www02.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=061007065036-265391

2006-10-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

Dissociation.

In the beginning,

It gives you a perception,

Of an Association,

This Association They call it,

And like a mighty chorus They chant in the streets,

Full of triumph,

Full of pride,

And full of Illusions of This Association.

Seasons pass,

The poor soul,

Trapped by the illusion,

Becomes blind at the sight of a crippled demise.

Devoting himself to This Association,

Everything else falls behind,

As They continue to parade,

Continue to feed Him with sweet subtle poison.

In His veins,

The poison seeps,

And in final a final stroke,

He falls to Their sweet possesion.

Misted by sweetness,

Of malted falls and beautiful endings,

He swears allegiance to This Assiociation.

In hooting Glory,

They know, They have him.

The parades stop,

The trumpets fade into the misty distance.

It is time.

Coaxed by sympathy,

He pours out to Them,

Silver, gold, even His soul.

Taking all in with suppressed glee,

A face they show,

A pitying fool,

Yet another shows,

Savages, taking, stealing but never returning.

And then,

A turn, its dawn, They're gone,

Fled over the mountains,

Gone under the sea.

He stands there and looks,

Not much in shock, or stunned silence,

But of deep hurt, silence and misery.

How a fool He had been!

To have tangled himself with This Association in the start.

But naught can be done,

The knife stabbed, the culprits in a distance.

So as He drags off alone,

Into the blood red sunset,

It would seem that This Association,

With all its perceptions and tainted illusions,

Was a mere nothing more than

A Dis-sociation.

-Josh. 10/06.

2006-10-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

Hello.

Today is a VERY SPECIAL DAY.
errhmm..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIGRESS JANE!!! haha!
16 already.. please act up okay? haha.. don't stress yourself out, and do take alot of rest and care!
we want to hear you talk again!! haha.. folks if you all don't flow, its cause the poor girl lost her voice today!!
so... she would like us to pray for her! and we would! haha..
take care yea? sorry i can't find a photo to dedicate to you..
no worries! i'll specially take one for you then! haha!

cheers!

2006-10-04T03:42:00.000-07:00

Hello all.
with absolute concurrence with Charmaine aka "Hamster" Chow, (haha..)
School is currently a factor of happiness for me..
cherishing the final 7 days left of formal secondary school education.
it has been a bittersweet 4 years,
lots of memories, lots of friends, lots of many things that one can never ever truely explain.
and for myself, if everything goes right,
this marks the end of my 10 years in the DOVER neighbourhood.
seriously, the dover, clementi right up to boon lay stretch has been a second home to me all these years, travelling up and down, up and down incessantly and endlessly day after day for 10 years, for lunch, projects, outings, work etc...
spending a decade doing such things sure does make you stop and think about how much you'll miss waking up so early, just to rush down breakfast and challenge time to the school gate,
or travelling up to boon lay for a movie and lunch right up to uneartly hours before making way back to bedok,
or even the long, tiring and even sometimes dreadful rides in the buses/Mrt.
I'm sure gonna miss these small things in a big way.

Along with the memories of little travel adventures down the MRT line, friends and teachers would also be dearly missed, if not even longed for.
a decade puts people deep in your heart, their impacts and all etched in a special place just for these emotions.
right up from the start; the well forgotten but missed days of childhood in FMPS, the AV gang and all, to the very end of days; with a squirrel, pokemon, tigeress, donkey and a still undefined creature, or even with a noisy act cute monster and a hydrogen perioxide stained girl the memories will stay.
To this 3 groups of people in my transition throughout this 10 years, Thank you so much.
i just cannot express whatever i want to say in such a short space here.. another 10 years wouldn't be enough too. haha.
BIG apologies for the recent negligence and dissappearance.. Os and all.. but promise after the Os i'll make it up!! haha..

Not much of a social person, so i'm really really really comfortable and contented with these people.. but unfortunatly, if i move on, a new life awaits me in the horizon.
Frankly speaking i'm scared for what's going to happen next year, its literally a NEW BEGINNING if everything goes right.
But then again they say there's a perfect time and place for EVERYTHING.
So that i guess i'll leave it to Him to lead me.

So, folks that still have one more, perhaps 2 more years in school,
do CHERISH it.
right now, if i were to be given a chance to start over again, i think i would..
the end of sec3 till sec 4 part.. haha.. cause i can most vividly remember that.. sec 1 and 2 needs deeper meditation.
oh well.
a BIG salute to FAIRFIELD.
Thank you for a decade i guess? haha.
cheers.

2006-09-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

Good morning all.
just rolled out of bed, literally.
seeing that there's really nothing i can do to get back into dreamland after being "rolled" out,
might as well do some early morning reflections.
haha.

well been giving myself 3 days now just to catch up on sleep, been sleeping at 9 and neglecting books just to reduce the eyebags and recharge.
today would be the last day definatly.. i finally had a chance to complete 12 hrs of sleep in one shot! haha... so i think my mind should be ready to roll on one last time towards the os!

things i must improve this last month:
1. Stupid handwriting.. yupp.. never imagined i would really get shot for it.. scored 15/30 for compo with a big HANDWRITING behind and with many giagantic circles around the paper.
a lesson learnt for me definatly.. i had it coming too.. haha.. soo.. gotta buck up on that..
but still, with God's infinite grace, i managed to snag an A2 for Eng.

2. Buck up on Social Studies and Lit.. oh my goodness... that IS a challenge.

3. maintain the rest. telling myself everyday, don't be too cocky. don't be too lax.

actually that is my greatest fear now.. being too lax and cocky.. gotta keep a wary maind about that. hmmm..

to those that did well, (up to their standards)
Great job guys! and do keep it up! its just barely one more month to the end of it all.
don't get too complacent and relaxed and just continue to keep up the pace and drill harder to acheive better! jia you! haha..

to those that did not do so well, (not up to their standards)
hey. you guys cannot give up! one month left just concentrate on what needs to be done!
put everything else aside, and focus on the main thing, which is to improve and understand the mistakes made in the prelim! do jia you! and work hard!!

The end is coming.
oh goody goody...

2006-09-28T04:22:00.000-07:00

Greetings all.

So, the prelims are over, the one day of rest is over, what's the next big thing out there??

without needing to say anything, that would be the return of the scripts.

i must really say, and REALLY REALLY THANK GOD for His Grace right at this moment in time.

I got shocked at MANY papers. PLEASANTLY shocked.

Its really a clear cut miracle and sign what happened these two days for my results.

At first i really expected a 74, 73 A2 for most of my papers cause of the few questions that i knew was screwed,

but currently my hopes to VJ for the first three months haven't been crushed yet!

Praise the Lord! i tell you i'll be doing flips if i get in for first three months with my L1R5 still.

Many people i've come across these few days, all have different reactions to my result and my plans to head VJ- wards.

MANY encouragements! thank you all for really believing in me and continuing to push me.

there's the other extreme of reactions.

some "screw you"s, "wah lao"s and "smartass"s

haha. well.

hmm.. so my R5 so far is 7.

really hope Oral saves me by pulling to an A1.

haha.. Combined Humans was a BIG surprise..

though i'm quite stung by the b3, but hey it was a BIG improvement from the previous C5s.

ah well, can work on that.

i actually scored equal for Lit and SS. haha.

Chem another surprise. expected an A2 or high b3.

was already thinking of counting Physics,

but by God's grace again, A1.

haha.. the rest was peachy.. yupp.. but can do better definatly.

what's left, PHYSICS and COMPO.

lame.. COMPO??!!

darned LPM refused to give out the compos,

and left us on a cliff hanger as bad as watching lost.

so now we're biting our nails,

HOPING and PRAYING nothing goes wrong,

and they would moderate comb. hum. and eng =p

2006-09-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

Through these misty eyes
I see lonely skies
Lonely road to babylon
Where's my family
And my country
Heaven knows where I belong

Pack my bags tonight
Here's one jacobite
Who must leave or surely die
Put me on a train
In the pouring rain
Say farewell but don't say goodbye

Chorus:Seagull carry me, over land and sea
To my own folk, that's where I want to be
Every beat of my heart
Tears me further apart
I'm lost and alone in the dark
I'm going home

part of the song by rod stewart, EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART.
love that song. felt a connection there somehow.
he's groovy.

well,
such kind of songs do resplendantly well to me these few days.
good for those who can interpret it.
even better if anyone can understand and empathize with me.
the rest of you, its up for your interpretation.

sorry, i wanna be vague today.

cheers.

2006-09-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

STUPID STUPID BLOGGER.
don't you just hate it when such things happen to you??
you type so long, then the %&%&* page "NO PAGE FOUND"
its darn unnerving.

anyway, like i typed sometime ago,
finally back, i am, apologies for another period of absence.
was struggling to complete the finally gruelling part of the PRELIM,
which i am happy to announce is FINALLY over!
haha.. i survived it, thankfully,
however with a little bit of "injuries" you might call it.
haha.. according to my nice tuitor, she claims i'm breaking up,
and if i don't go and relax soon i'll " overdrive"
haha.. thank goodness for her. she's nice.
anyway reason for that was cause the flu finally caught up with me,
was feeling feverish the whole of yesterday.
went for tuition and got my tuitor concerned.. haha..
she sent me packing straight home to rest,
and suggested i sleep, shop, enjoy.

which i did incidentally today, after chemistry.
ran home, dropped stuff and ran out again.
caught JTMD with my class. haha! it was a cool outing, though some were at cine due to mis comm. about the location.
in the end 12 of us turned up at the cathay;
naomi, chanel, sel, carissa, winner, nat, issac, ben, stanley, jane, brandon and i.
haha.. well, after that was retail therapy..
the gals bought a bomb, while i got myself a nice ring and cross and eyed a nice blazer.
haha.. well, they were cheap, but worth i guess, seeing that i finally found clothes to match the acccesories.

ah today was just swell, a good destress for the finally run.
life begins tomorrow.
prepare your books again folks,
today we pretend the Os are over.
haha.
cheers.

ON THE REDCARPET.

Joshua Lim and Ayumi Tokifloweruni

2006-09-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

A Tribute to Valerie Chua.

was born, 230990

Although she is still with us,

her presence is best not felt.

Amen.

Haha!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

HAPPY BIIIRRTTTHHDDAAAYYY

O---LD VALERIE...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

so sorry for the continuation from previous post.

thought the photo didn't compliment it!

so... i've edited it! it looks nicer!

don't complain! haha

cheers you.

2006-09-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

Joshua says:
Dad, mom, can i take up fencing after the os?
Dad, Mom says:
hmm too expensive, boring sport, why don't you just play soccer or basketball like what GUYS do.
Joshua says:
what you mean by THAT? i don't find it boring, and definatly its as tough as soccer or basketball.
Dad, Mom says:
hmmm.

sigh, that got shot down as usual, along with the idea of photography, saxophones, tango and biking.
that what do they mean by "what guys do".
hello. i may have different preferences, but trust me, these things are as tough, or even tougher than the average sports.
hmm.. i kinda feel let down everytime this things happen.. oh well.
i keep telling myself, spare a thought for the cost.
yes, i might admit, photography, saxophones, tango, biking and fencing are in the uprange,
but you can't possibly let price stem passion right?
oh maybe i'm just fitted with the wrong CPU personality chip.
well, i'm still not gonna back down on fencing, or on tango after the os! haha.. one of them maybe.
gosh you guys must think i'm one weird kid.

oh yes, in appox. 16 minutes time is someone's birthday.
let me dedicate this part of the post to her.
valerie chua strolled into the band room 3 years ago, on a monday practice, alone, QUIET and most definatly not knowing how 3 years later would be so so so different.
well, it just so happened on that day i saw her, and well, i turned to my senior, and i said........
val you know that part! haha..
well, anyway, the story goes on.

she, was posted to join the saxophones, a prestigious section in FSB, her honour obviously!
it was a shock to me! cause i never knew someone so ____ would come to our section!
(haha! that part was kidding! i never had any thing against her coming!)
so we became friends on day during practice.
the rest, they say was history.

Dear valerie chua of the COOLNESS.
It has been a great pleasure and pressure knowing you all these years.
indeed, i never knew what was coming whence you stepped through those doors on that faithful day 3 years ago.
i never knew that that ____ girl would be one of my closest friends, best section and later on class mate ever.
here's to the 3 years of fun, sadness and, (on your part) the process of acting cute.
here's to the years of fun with WEI MEI, ZL, ZR and gang.
here's to the many silly hours of R and D fun in your house gym.
here's to the ever lasting friendship of You, joa and i.
here's to the outings, big, small, boring or downright amusing with so many many people that we knew.
here's to our friendship, may we never forget that day in the band room and each other.
and most importantly,
here's to Valerie Chua.
Happy Birthday sport!
stay cheerful always.

cheers.

2006-09-21T05:44:00.000-07:00

Hello all,
apologies on the "your blog is as dead as a fish" logo on my blog.
haha. yes jane, message taken.

I see a clearer sky already!
the papers are technically over! today was the last killer, physics
which incidentally turned out to be quite a softie..
haha.. whee.. so its one more bio prac and MCQs to the end of the PRELIMS.
note. end of the PRELIMS.
the storm is fast approaching.. this was just the mini storm.
haha.. but alas! at least there's be good weather for a peacful amount of days to recover before we start again.

so today i had a very strong urge to go out and walk.
after the paper went home to drop my things.. was supposed to go hunt of something with weijie and elis.. haha.. in the end UFOs kidnapped them.
so i went to orchard with my cam and had a ball of a time.
really.. everyone should try it someday, going out on your own.
its rejuvinating.. considering the last time i went orchard for fun was like a long time ago.
haha.. so i took a few photos, pampered myself with icecream and chips
and was walking through borders when i saw this book.
it was places you should go before you die.
OH MAN. when i saw it, inside i went click, hey thats what I want!
i seriously don't care if i'm married, have 7 kids, or a bachelor next time.
it is now my ULTIMATE aim in life to visit these place before i die.
haha.. its around 50 places i think.. but so far i've only been to 1.. grand canyon.. but that was when i was pathetically stupidly tiny! haha.. so it doesn't count.
let me share with you all the places. maybe it would inspire you to adventure too!

1. Ankor Wat, Cambodia
2. St Petersburg, Russia
3. Havana, Cuba
4. Wat Phra Kaeo, Bangkok
5. Grand Canyon, USA
6. Taj Mahal, India
7. Eilean Donan Castle, Scotland
8. The Alhambra, Spain
9. Aitutaki, Cook Island
10. Pyramid of Kukulcan, Mexico
11. Venice, Italy
12. Dead Vlei, Namibia
13. Iguassu Falls, Brazil and Argentina
14. Petra, Jordan
15. College Fjord, Alaska
16. The Temple of Karnak, Egypt
17. Rio de Janerio, Brazil
18. Taman Negara rainforest, Malaysia
19. Jaisalmer Fort, India
20. Galapagos Islans, Ecuador
21. Manhattan Island, USA
22. Lake Titicaca, Bolivia and Peru
23. Giverny, France
24. Ngorongo Crater, Tanzania
25. Santorini, Greece
26. Drakensberg, South Africa
27. Zanzibar, Tanzania
28. Makalu, Nepal
29. Lalibela, Ethiopia
30. Machu Picchu, Peru
31. Uluru, Australia
32. Varanasi, India
33. Great Barrier Reef, Australia
34. Ihasa, Tibet
35. Yangshuo, China
36. Dubrovnik, Croatia
37. Ephesus, Turkey
38.Shanghai, China
39. Samarkand, Uzbekistan
40. Killary Harbour, Ireland.

40 in all.. whoo..
i'm gonna love my life.
haha!
cheers.

2006-09-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

Greetings all, just arrived home.
here's what charmaine and i did today:
- buy balloons and streamers.
- blow balloons, hang streamers
- almost falling flat on our face.

oh yes,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUA WEIJIE!! haha!
16 creeps up to you like a creepy creep. haha..
using alliteration to emphasize my point of the creepy-ness of 16. haha..
anyway, hope you had a blast today! i sure did!
haha birthday boy birthday boy birthday boy..
please don't take down the streamers/ burst the balloons till like christmas,
they are our love and expired air. gyahaha..
and do enioy the presents and little sweeties inbetween!

i think i'm on the verge of a breakdown.
i feel as if a sickness is JUST waiting for the exams to be over to run me down.
chest hurts like hell today, can't seem to breathe..
its still like that.. shit shitty shittums.
damn its pain..

emaths tomorrow.. phys 2 on thursday.. haha.. last 2 gruelling papers to go.. wheeoeoooee
sally sells seashells on the seashore.
lit seems to have been DRILLED into my head. wasn't too bad today the papers.
except maths.. oo... that was as if i was being slapped by miss yeo.
that was horrible, maths.
oh well..
i'm gonna prac and then to bed.
my chest hurts like hell.
cheers.

2006-09-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

The Flight.

The dust and sand swirled in mini tornadoes across the floor of the court. The goal posts stood on both sides, creaking and groaning under the pressure of Mother Nature's afternoon breath. Sanchos lay on the sandy floor and looked into the sky. Clouds seemed to be moving at a flurry in tandem with the gust of winds sweeping across his face. He seemed to be floating, but yet still rooted to the spot as he took in all that was happening. Suddenly there was a sound that echoed from the distance. It sounded like pebbles hitting the tin roof of old Mr Guan's abode when Sanchos and the others used to disturb him when sanchos was much younger. It sounded just like that, except that there must have been a pebble storm around to create such a constant rat-a-tat echoing across the empty village.

"Get up Sanchos. Now."

The stillness of the night was broken as Sanchos rolled across his mattress and sat upright, squinting to adjust his eyes to the gloom around. Where had the court went? The wind and the sand too had dissappeared though the steady rat-a-tat still sounded in the distance and seemed to be getting louder by the minute. He could see the staunt outlines of his father and brother, briskly crossing the little room and stuffing things into a bag at the far end of the matress. Suddenly everything became clear. It was time.

"We have to go now. Gather your things and wait outside in five minutes time."

That was the order that started Sanchos looking around for his little bag that Father had gotten him days before. Being a young boy, Sanchos did not have anything particularly important, and in those days in the village, football was the only thing the boys talked about. So soon after two minutes of quick deliberation, Sanchos dropped the bag and carried his football outside.

Father and Brother soon met Sanchos outside with their belongings and silently they crept through the village. Sanchos really did not see the point in doing so, since most of the kids had already left a few days ago, bound for a new life elsewhere, other kids to meet, and better fields to play football in. Their family was one of the last to leave the village, as Sanchos had overheard Father tell Brother days ago that he was "getting us our of here in a faster way." Sanchos did not understand what that had meant of course, but that was the beauty of being young; you don't understand, you don't suffer the consequences. Life couldn't be any simpler.

Soon the three of them came to the little brook separating the village from the sheep, or more commonly known as Kalda's Secret to the village children, due to the many secret caves and holes in the area. There across the brook was a battered jeep waiting for them amongst the silence of the sleeping sheep. They crossed the brook easily and got to the jeep. brother climbed into the back first to help Sanchos get on. When the both of them were safely inside, Father got Sachos aside to speak to him.

"Now i want you to listen carefully. The bad men are coming, they are coming with their guns and we must run away from them fast. Whatever happens, i want you to always stick with your brother. You understand?"

Sanchos nodded in mute agreement. Another law in life, agree first, ask quietions later. So within a minute they were off, the sudden revving of the engines scaring the sheep from their peaceful slumber. By now the rat-a-tats were getting loud, and by the time the jeep managed to mount the nearest hill, screams suddenly penetrated the night, and firelight started to dance about in contrast to the darkness of the night. Sanchos clambered to the edge of the jeep to get a better look, but it was too late. The rolling hills shielded the boy's eyes from the blaze that was burning below, and as Sanchos slumped back down next to his brother, soon falling back into a world of new friends, bigger fields and bleak innocence, the three of them took flight across the shadows of the night, away from the bad people, into a new life.

-Josh 9/06.

cheers.

2006-09-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was weird, but somehow the closure of a big bad nightmare i had for months on end since the start of this year.
no more misunderstandings, no more resentment, no more suspicions.
haha.. i apologise for the recent anger and foul language and such.
but having a feeling thats the end of that for a relatively long period of time.

to "you", yea i'm sorry for the misunderstandings and rifts that the both of you faced because of this matter. it wasn't what i wanted for the both of you, and i really do hope that she'll really be happy with what's going to happen in time to come. my apologies for the bitching.

to hydrogen peroxide girl's beau, if you understand, then i'm cool with it too. just live up to your understood "understanding".

many thanks to:
Jac. yes, somehow or rather you were the catalyst needed to solve this problem. thank you.

Joa. thanks for telling me what he felt back there. though he never said anything, yes we know he's shy.. well here's to better days. and thanks for listening out through all my vulgarities without fainting.

weijie. yeayea soon to be birthday boy. i'm SORRY to have disturbed your show. haha.. you can't kick anything over here! haha.. yea thanks alot for being there all these months of sickly depression due to such contrivences, and understanding the best in this situation. you know what i mean. so yea, i'll take your words of wisdom and GET A GRIP. haha!

val. thank you so much for understanding and not shunning away all these while though the circumstances seemed taut and sometimes "dilemmic" sometimes. thanks for not blowing your top at either of us for whatever matters and reasons that deprived the both parties of a slice of you. rest assured it'll be pleasantly different from now on, and yea, thanks for making me finally understand things that i wasn't too happy to accept at the beginning of this. what happened has happened and i wish the both of you the best and happiness in the time to come. joa and i will be here always! though she now has eyes for only a certain candy and i have to work on giving the both of you space as i wait for something to happen to me. haha. cheer up yea?

closure.
End of the drama folks.

2006-09-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

So i'm just a sidewinder.
GREAT. the day just turned for the "better"
yea thanks alot you who said that huh..
SO I'M ALWAYS AT FAULT WHEN IT COMES TO FREAKING RELATIONSHIPS HUH.
FIRST JOA's, NOW YOU.
YEA SO ALL THOSE IN A RELATIONSHIP OUT THERE LISTEN UP, GUYS ESPECIALLY.
DON'T LET YOUR GIRL FRIEND COME NEAR TO ME BECAUSE I'M A FREAKING CASANOVA AND I WOULD LIKE TO STEAL HER FROM YOU.
GOD DAMN IT I'M TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT.
ONE OVER ANOTHER OVER ANOTHER.. JOSHUA LIM'S ALWAYS THE ONE THAT CAUSES THE BOYFRIEND INSECURITY AND UNHAPPINESS.
SOMEMORE OF ALL PEOPLE YOU.
THE LEAST, VERY VERY VERY LEAST YOU COULD DO WAS TO FEEL GRATEFUL I NEVER DID ANYTHING A LONG TIME AGO.
YOU THINK ITS SO EASY TO SEE THIS HAPPEN??!!
BUT I DID, I WAS ACTUALLY QUITE CALM AND CONTENTED.
THEN YOU WANNA PICK THIS KIND OF FIGHT??
DAMN JUST LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS, I JUST WANT MY FRIENDS.
MUST I GET A GIRLFRIEND AND START SCREWING HER ON THE STREET BEFORE YOU GUYS BACK OFF??!
IT HURTS DAMNIT.

2006-09-14T22:37:00.000-07:00

Ahh finally, the peace, joy and bliss of the end of the week.
been waiting for today like some kid eager to chew his first gum.
well, happy to say that the bulk of the papers are completed,
its still left with 2 more "major" papers before we hit slacksville.
Literature and Physics. hmm. a very weird combination don't you all think?
anyway had chemistry today, really thanking the Lord that my hard "bite the bullet" schedule paid off.
it was not that gruelling, compared to other school's papers like RI or ACS.
though there was a VERY VERY stupid mistake made on my part in one question..
don't think that mistake is EVER pardonable, but hey, thank the stars at least i made that mistake during the prelims.
imagine if i did that during the os.
Actually i wouldn't even be able to imagine it, i'll be seething with rancour and rage. haha.

well, finally able to blog three-fold compared to previous occasions..
been really busy these past few days to be troubled by anything..
could have sworn i lost my emotions and feelings the past 5 days or so..
it has just been very mechanic..
apologies to the world here... i'm a robot during the examination periods = no life.
haha.. give me a week more.. and i'll be back, for a short period of time before "robot mode" gets switched on again for the big Os.
THEN........ hurhurhur.. i'll be free as hydrogen gas.. haha.. even a rendevous at 3 am is possible.
haha.. well, LIT is coming up.. shite shite shite.. gotta brush up on my use of vocab and such..
hmm.. like i complained before, haven't touched a tome for the past 5 months.
can you imagine?? not even a tome.... what more a pamphlet??

listening to Maksim play the piano now.. he's really good..
furthermore its raining.. really cool and calm ambience...
makes me all fuzzy and sleepy inside..
its a kind of feeling where you feel you're all logy, but then again you're still concious..
a partial dip in and out of subconcious kind of thingy.. haha..
maybe hot milo will help.. hmm..

well, lets see, to do today:
1. settle a few stuff for monday's happenings.
2. start lit (mamamia...)
3. try and fuse in physics if possible.
4. clean out the "dust that ate my homework" from under the bed.
5. remind carissa that her cute little "source As" are fundementally boggling.. if you all know what i mean.. =p
6. catch up on my new best friend, sleep.

cheers all.

2006-09-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

Ah a few papers down, lots more to go.
had physics prac today.
we were lucky.. it was hell much simpler than MYE..
BUT i screwed up one portion.
uahifuhuiasfbdbiubidhsfao!!!
screw it.. calculated value wrongly...
Damn... hoping that didn't do me in..

well, life's pretty much boring,
exams, lunch, home, books, exams
and the cycle repeats itself, like a woman's menstural cycle.
i would put it all down, but i have to run, still have 7 odd more chapters to go for bio.
sheesh.

tomorrow: bio and add maths.

2006-09-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

I apologise for the use of offensive language.
i really do.
i was just frazzled yesterday.

anyway, yesterday's papers were not bad i must say.
gone with ss and emath 1.
today's one was not too bad too. gone with EL2.
tomorrow's one i'd better be lucky. haha.
phy3.
well, tuition later,
cheerio!

2006-09-11T02:55:00.000-07:00

Today is so not the day.
almost running into overdrive and explosive.
screw the teacher, screw the barber, screw today.

Right so my hair is longer than his??
hello, miss "i'm-always-correct-you-just-keep-quiet" bitch,
use your fucking god-damned eyes to see that his hair is longer dimwit.
AND, its so not about the hair.
thanks for letting him go scott free and giving me the slip.
yea thanks real lot, like i need to waste too much time making a trip to the bloody barber who cuts like shit because i'm just too smart.
so much for demonstrating your "wrath" because you let a "oh-so-small-student-like-joshua-lim" talk back to you.
you wanna play, you got it,
no need a formal invitation for such games.
you watch your step.

p.s. oh and for the record, Madam "my hairstyle sucks", stop filrting with boys younger than you. it makes us sick. and do try to sue your barber or something. i'll pity him.

note, the above ranting was based on a TOTAL FICTION. no resemblence whatsoever. i was just feeling my blog needed a little primetime action.
cheers.

2006-09-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

2 More Blummering days to Armageddon......

And i'm peachy really,
peachy to the verge of wanting so much to gather as much people at the end of the year to have a mass witch-trials for our SS books.
SS is a whole mass of trival bovine excretion.
i believe to a VERY HUMONGOUSLY EXTREMELY LARGE EXTENT that we should trash it.
have i argued my point through?
oh i think so.
i've said my peace.

well anyway, starting to feel jittery already..
and its not even sunday yet!
damned daisy dolphins!
haha.. its unfair..
right, maybe its just bad expierience with last minute heart attacks.
well, watching i am sam right now, a nice show really.
haha.. slacking on the job i am..
i'm a sucker for good shows.
cheers.

2006-09-08T04:48:00.000-07:00

Being JAAWWWSHUUUUAAAHH!

Work sucks work sucks.
haha.. did a whole lot of propagandish crap today,
as known as Social Studies.
Had fun in ECP today studying with weijie and elis.
hmm.. that was swell, but i wanna play everyday!!! haha!
argh.. 3 more blummering days to the prelims.
haha... gonna be over soon!!! haha..
2 more months 2 more months..
haha.. i'm kinda high today. sorry folks.

cheers.

2006-09-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

60. Has it been that much?
wow.. i finally reach my 60th post here since switching from friendster.
haha.. time really flies.. or maybe i just blog alot.
haha.

well just gotten back from school.
had bio the earlier part of the day,
then lunched at some funky ice-cream palor and bakery with pak kee, naomi, jane, stanley, benjamin and carissa.
officially spent the last of my cash today.. wahaha.. going into savings to survive now..
tsk.. studying does require food stuffs and sufficient carbs you know.

tuition in a bit, now feeling mundane-ly lethargic.
well.. can't do anything much in these 20 mins..
off to the piano then, found this really sweet piece called "claudine"..
cheers.

oh! to all garfield fans, we should be happy for Jon arbuckle who has finally gotten liz as a GIRLFRIEND! haha finally!

2006-09-05T07:19:00.000-07:00

"Seeing summer in a touch of winter,

Feeling lighter with every step i climb.

Slowing healing, the heart with the splinter,

Its not so hard now, to find words that rhyme."

It just dawns on some how stupid one has been.

we try to look so hard, scope every situation, think of every plausable way out,

to find that at the end of the day,

the root and the answer lies in front of you.

DELUSION.

We keep telling ourselves, its going to be better,

something's gonna work out,

people's going to see it in perspective,

but at the end of the day,

what really matters is,

if HE wants it HIS way,

then His will be done.

simple, subtle.

not our will, not your will,

but his will.

i think i've just hit the wall and realise,

if i'd stop walking and listen,

if i'd stopped resisting, and followed,

things might have been better before.

I think i've just found my answer.

2006-09-01T05:39:00.000-07:00

Life's a smuck.
Personally i do not know what a smuck particularly is, but it seemed fitting for the sentence.
might be a new joshy-snazzy word coming up there.
right. with that done, like i was saying life is a smuck.
been cooped up at the esplanade 3 out of 5 days this week, biting the friggin bullet and shoving the whole physics textbook down my throat.
fruitful, i must admit, but tiring and definatly burning a hole in my pocket.
just like today, i can't believe i actually spent 4.80 for 5 pieces of chicken wings??!!
okay, they were nice and tasty, but i can't actually i even splurged on them!
man.. today i came to a realisation on a statement made by my senior a year ago.
"when you study for your Os, you'll always be broke."
a year ago i was thinking "ookayy.." but now, i totally sympathise.
so there, joshua lim is broke for the rest of the week. how cheesy.

right, so i was thinking,
i should probably start a list of joshy-snazzy ideologies.
hmm.. the things o level students do in their free time eh..
well. charmed's on now.. leo's about to die..
and piper's not gonna give in without a fight.
haha.. well at least she's facing the problem full front,
instead of running away like what others would do.
she's funky.

cheers.
what are you running from?

2006-08-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

Bibbity Bobbity Boo.

Dang.. i just realised the vast quantities of teacher's day cards to do.
All in all there's NINE cards. sheesh.
Okay, maybe if you're a girl, you might think, hey 9 cards is probably nothing,
but do keep in mind i used to fail art, and not meaning to be sexist or anything,
but i do think that the girls are much better at doing such things.
so there. 9 cards.

Okay. lets discuss the politics of teacher's day.
say i have 9 cards, but yet there are 12 teachers that come in contact and have taught me.
so i wonder what does that show.. hmm.
well, you can't blame me, but i'm sure there's a certain kind of politics and system governing one's choices and decisions of what to buy for whom during this very special occasion.
ok. i don't think i should continue with this topic.
its kinda touchy.. haha..
probably time to get on with the cards anyway.
cheers.

2006-08-28T22:13:00.000-07:00

So i'm back.

Well, probably about time anyway.
been away for a good 2 weeks already.
Many things happened in the course of these few days, actually i can't remember most of them.
I've just been indulging in LOST these few days. haha.. wanna get LOST too..
thinkin it'll be kinda cool to be in their situation.. Hmm..
well, for starters i just arrived home.
CORRECTION to previous posts:
today was indeed the EARLIEST ever, making it back at 1 on the dot.
like Neo would have promtly said, woah.

Anyway had my prelims english paper 1 in the morning.
It was not that bad, just hoping i wrote legibly for the teachers at least.
been growing tired of the "WRITE LEGIBLY" notes they've been scribbling lately.
Talking about teachers, tommorrow's teacher's day celebrations.
haha.. haven't gotten my materials yet.. gotta do that soon.
school's kinda nice i must say, halting our prelims for teacher's day and the day off.
BUT, unfrotunatly for me, "days off" kinda got rescheduled to become "study days"
Oh bother.

Been contented these few days, pleasantly..
just living each day within my means i guess.
gotten a few surprises here and there,
and i must say, its nice to see your influence in someone/something prosper.
gives that warm fuzzy feeling inside.
well, its just 2 more months to the big ones, after which i'll denounce officially my title of NERD for about a month or two and just go crazy on every single thing.
oh i just can't wait.. i wanna leave on that jet plane.. seriously..

2006-08-20T04:19:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.

Breathless and feeling that all this just don't make sense anymore.

We keep telling ourselves to keep smiling, to keep searching,

But at the end of the day, i'm just empty.

What's the use of "being there" and getting all the things i "so deserve to get"

When at the end you just look back and go, "hey, i'm not doing this in my work today."

Could have spent my time doing something more worthwhile,

Something that perhaps would make me happier,

Vocationalist? companionship? migration?

Perhaps, but a greater power saw me through to a path of the knowledged.

For that, eternally grateful i will ever be,

But sometimes, in times like THIS,

When everything seems so colourful, and you're the only black and white,

You just wonder, was this really correct?

Is this really what i am?

Somehow, you want to let others know that you need comfort, for you are saddened and weak,

But then you see yourself as a pillar of strength for others,

And for the reasons of not wanting to let them down or discourage them,

You play a strong front, keeping silent, hoping someone, somehow can tell,

Letting the pain and the sorrow eat you up inside.

Sometimes, true eyes do see,

And pick you up from whence you fall,

But sometimes, in your darkest and deepest world of monochrome sorrows,

You realise, with great saddness and anguish,

That theirs still has colour,

And, not wanting to taint the already joyous and colourful picture before you,

You slip back into the shadows, letting tears drown you inside,

And dream.

-lamantations of a boy in monochorome.

20.09.06

2006-08-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

First up.
had a wonderful day today, great break from the hustle and bustle of the week.
i gotta say, don't really want this day to end.
cause after today, life's gonna hit back to the bottom of the pit like nobody's business again.
and the race will begin again. that sucks.
well, not actually feeling THAT well today, physically and psy-ly ( if there was ever such a word)
with two freaking ulers on the lips that restrict you from pronouncing the simplest of words, and a freaking feeling of self distress and being strung up and taken for, well, it kinda wouldn't be VERY good.
BUT. Thank God for the day.. marvelous marvelous.

well, really started the ball rolling when i went to meet weijie and elis for dinner.
hmm okay.. techincally i was the ONLY one having dinner.
the both of them just watched.. WELL.. we WERE supposed to have dinner..
but the both of them decided to go on a diet, strangly.. haha..
haha.. was DEAD hungry. (not as if hunger can be dead but used as a figurative to describe that i was on the verge of eating a whole cow. - fyi to those who need it.)

after that was off to the theatre..
took a nice long evening route that made me feel like a tourist there and i regrouped with my class not long after.
hmm.. musical was not bad.. entertaining actually... naomi and i were at shambles when it came to the part with the brollies and the part with the fmps kids. "woof woof" i'd say! haha..
all in all, it was a really good effort and the standards were there.. well.. you COULD say they were. jolly good show i must say. haha.

post musical pandemonuim.
the highlight of the photography of the day.
my date was overjoyyed!
( the date that i am refering to is not a particualar girl i'm interested in, but instead, but soon to be wife/camera.)
yea... i'll post them later.. so like that story goes, we went to have ice cream before rushing home.
i almost missed the last bus.. thank goodness for the traffic light.
so got home round 1 plus, and guess what..
oh nevermind.. thinking about what happens after today is such bullshit.

oh my mom is finally back! yay!
with gifts! (which she claims i can only know tomorrow.. darn..)
i'm LOVING her RIGHT now..
actually, ALL OF THE TIME.
ok.. that was just to express thanks..
on to the photos.

Once again, the partners in crime.

Leo-ness and i.

two roses and a thron in the middle. heh.

the cast of desperate "schoolgirls"

Issac. ben. josh. stanley

the people the chicken rice in the canteen should be very AFRAID of..

Natties meets jinxy lesbians.

natalie and her cute dress.. haha..

jane nat josh

smart brained and the smart mouth

jane's famous "i am angsty" shot

The lion sleeps tonight.. caught! busted!

HUH?

Newest LV model. move aside giselle, and make way for jane.

the bubblies wish you good night!

cheers.

2006-08-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

I feel a certain vibe in the atmosphere,
a certain feeling of excitement,
i feel happy.

well, two pieces of GREAT NEWS.
1. i oficially declare myself FINE. haha! after what has happened these few days, it has shrugged itself off somehow! haha!
2. tomorrow is gonna be an exciting day. haha.. like jane rightly puts it, le grandeur! haha! we shall see what happens eh??

well, pouring over physics now, deciding to study INTO THE NIGHT, for once this whole chaotic week.
tomorrow morning too is devoted to the books, we sec 4s lead VERY mundane lives don't you all think?
then at 4, its heading down to esplanade to find interesting snapshots.
haha.. 6 meeting weijie and elis for a nice dinner before the musical.
haha! can't wait can't wait! haha... its so gonna be a blast!

OH and today its a very special day! no.. its not because of the opening of the musical,
BUT, its CARISSA HONG's BIRTHDAY!

TO CARISSA's CATASTROPHE (and her fat kid eating pie for that matter.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! =)

cheers.

2006-08-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be sleeping now,
but i can't sleep a wink,
well, most probably due to the coke a few hours ago.
hmm.. maybe?
haha well, i've realised i just started a trend!
a "to-do-list" trend that quite a few have picked up.
haha.. including jane and carissa.
haha.

well, was blog surfing just a bit ago, and bumped into jane's! haha..
she was talking about the upcoming founder's day dinner that we would be going to.
well, actually had a conversation with her yesterday about the prospect of the FFD and ended up getting all so excited about the whole thing!
haha.. we were discussing dressing and colours, and enving the previous sec 4 batch for their never ending flair and pomp in the hotel that night.
haha, in the end we made a pact, jane in a DRESS, and i in a unconfirmed yet but outlined suit.
haha! well, really excited for that event, come to think about it, really can't wait for it.

chatting with jane now actually, she's trying to SEW her dress for this coming saturday's musical. haha..
now have to look for other counterparts to wear the dress with jane. hmm.. naomi? carissa? chanel?
haha! well, didn't really accomplish much today, only did a whole lot of math.. no sciences, and i'm feeling the impact of the guilt.. maybe i'll go do some chem now..

cheers.

2006-08-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

Shot of the week.

N O

(for better quality and bigger size, go to my flickr photo stream.)

Rebellious nature

angst

contrasting ideas

BUT, also a reminder for me to say NO to giving up.

Life may be difficult, but at the end of the day, its gonna be worth it.

to those who's been telling me to press on and not to give up,

this photo is dedicated to you.

cheers.

2006-08-12T10:03:00.000-07:00

Greetings all.

haha.. went for planetshaker's concert today with jac, joelyn, yun xing, joshua toh, lanz and esmonde.

was a fairsian playground today, met so many groups. haha.. but mostly sec 3s.

it was rumoured that the sec 4s went yesterday. oh no.

well, the day was pretty much average,

went around orchard before going to class with my new toy,

my uncle loaned me his nikon 5000.. its kinda fun to play with, more features and all,

i might buy it off him, but my dear SLR, i promise to get you someday! thats my ultimate promise to you!! haha..

anyway, snapped a few, now waiting to post-process, those goes to flickr.

then it was class.. haha.. the usual ENGLISH.

a twist of fate in class i must say.

i actually wasn't planning on going for the concert, as i heard the tix were all out.

but joash messaged me halfway and told me to contact a certain Gina.

so i did, and voila! i got a ticket!

well, so after class flew down to suntec to meet the rest for dinner.

after dinner was the concert, at expo, sweet.

well the concert was good, though it was loud, reminded me of zouk the other time,

but surprisingly my ears didn't ring after that.

changi airport for drinks after that.

actually wanted to have ice cream, but the whole concert went to changi,

so we were forced to have drinks instead.

well, they had to go off early so it was a quick one.

now i'm darn tired, but i've still got work to do, darnnn...

well these days i'm talking without perspective to emotions.

haven't been really in control lately,

some of you might know..

but at least i'm one hurdle through, since yesterday.

wanna say sorry to you two..

its not bout you two and all,

but i just need time to take control again.

what happened recently was just becuase things have not been going very normally for me,

but thank God it was cleared up yesterday.

my sincerest apologies for any unhappiness or sadness caused..

well at least it would be MUCH better now, knowing both side's story and clearing it up.

and it won't happen again, promise.

yeaa.. i need time i think, but i would be fine. haha. =>

well, here's photos of today.

lanz took some, as he was fascinated by my cam.

well lanz, get a cam and start shooting!!

cause photography is DARN fun!!

haha.. yea well, enjoy folks.

cheers.

Top left: Jac YX JOELYN

middle left: the SUPER WHITE photo. tried to slavage it.. hmm

middle right: the famous Lanz toh fetish for feet/ass.

Bottom: lanz, where am i??

Being Joshua is difficult.

2006-08-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

Things to do by this week and next week:

1. Tidy up chemistry. It has been a long time.
2. start on other subjects.
3. tidy up my shelves. they're starting to look sinister.
4. start saving for a spanking new canon digital SLR.
5. revive my stagnant flickr page with more photos.
6. catch samuel ryo before he flies off for the remaining months before christmas.
7. pester mom to get me shoes from australia. haha.
8. remind carissa that chanel is spelt C-H-A-N-E-L, not S-H-E-R-N-E-L
9. scrouge for band to join after the os.
10. ask norman if he's interested.

Hmm.. i should be sleeping now. technically.
I feel sleepy, but yet still quite awake at the same time.
darn i need more adrenaline in my life.
hence number 9 and 10 for the checklist.
i keep saying i'm going to be a musician, i'm gonna be in a band.
well, i've talked the walk, probably about time to walk the talk as well,
can't be really sure if i'm fitted for this path unless i get on with it.
well, hopefully i can make it.
well, the Lord guides.

anyway, things seem to be picking up.
slowly, but steadily thats for sure.
finally sobering down to start on the important things, aka studies.
life's starting to "un-mundanize" itself.
starting to revive my photo collage,
found more jazz in the storeroom,
canon D something (can't quite remember) looks stunningly seductive.
a selmer paris any coloured soprano sax excites me.
dreams coming back and things becoming clearer.
looking forward to founder's day next year,
promises of europe around the corner.
emotions aside, you could say i'm starting to bounce back.
take cover folks.

well, the movies officially stopped 2 days ago.
sigh... i'll be missing them.
like all the super hero/ villain movies always say,
its for the greater good.
i THINK i understand.
well, someone also told me to make things less rigid and suffocating,
plan out what would you like to do after the os.
and VOILA! i did.
just because i was very bored and particularly sick of studying that day.
hmm.. THAT funky sneakers floated into my mind again.
cool beans.

Things i WOULD LIKE TO DO AFTER THE Os.

1. Finally design and make something with yours truely, NAOMI and NORMAN.
( err, its no dolce and gabanna here folks. its just a crazy idea we all thought of while walking in spotlight one day. well, after the os seem to be a good time. all hail JINXY LESBIANS! heh!)

2. GO BACK TO CHIANG MAI.
( that is a MUST DO!! i miss that PLACE! i need that for a long deserved HIATUS.)

3. Make it to some place in EUROPE.
(finally! my dream come true!! hoping.. wishing..)

4. Club till the COWS JUMPED OVER THE MOON.
(the last time i did that, i almost got skinned, cause "its YOUR O LEVELS..." BUT after the Os.. whoo!!)

5. Go out and take photos.
(i will finally have the time to do a wider range of shots!)

6. Stay single till next year.
(No way in hell will i get someone.. not yet.. i wanna enjoy!!)

7. Movie Marathon.
(yes... been a very long time since i ever did that.)

8. BIG BANQUET with MEL ANDRE NICOLE PAUL.
( did i miss out anyone? hmm.. it was the 5 of us only for the 2 occasions right? We missed the june hols! and i miss you guys!)

9. Give two very "special" people a piece of MY MIND.
( their names are protected for now for very obvious reasons.. for those who know, hmmm..)

10. Start reading again.
(haven't been reading for the past 4 months. thats bad. according to mrs Kwa, your reading diet should be _ number of books a month. can't really remember.)

11. Finally take a group photo with the ever SPECIAL ANIMAL FARM.
( and go out as A GROUP. yea char? haha! well.. can't wait guys!)

12. Shopping and just having a whacky time.
(all i gotta say to that is, FINALLY!)

haha well, so thats my plan. hmm... see? i'm happy already.. excited even. thanks for hearing me out.
Goodnight!
cheers.

2006-08-09T02:48:00.000-07:00

Gosh i'm deadbeat.

this is what 5 hours of maths do to you. screw your circuits.

and there's still science to go. shoots.

arghh... i'm bored.. and its hot here.

hmm..

oh yes, happy birthday singapore.

haha. all the best for the coming years then.

later guys.

2006-08-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

Greetings all, just came back from a very LONG busride.

it actually took half an hour to traverse ONE stretch of the road.

bummer. well, and to think i left town at 930, but arrived home at 11..

like naomi said, PRE HOLIDAY OUTINGS ALL AROUND.

point taken naomi.

went to catch the lake house today with alston and naomi,

a great activity to end my already very flustered and semi moody day.

i must say, the lake house was GOOD. SWELL.

very lovely and touching show.

go watch it folks. can't relate the show.. you gotta catch it yourself.

so left the cinema feeling particulary touched and a tad bit happier,

and more wishful! saw a nice shirt today, along with sneakers.

and i could have sworn the blazers were seucing me too.

man i need moolah. and time.

speaking of which, like jane keeps saying when we meet,

there isn't any left.

given to contemplate the situation,

we've come from "oh there's still 2 years left"

to "its only 2 and a half months left."

It has really flown.

people in, people out.

Met the 4a gang of matthew, sam ryo, nat, aiyun and other gals i did't recognise just now.

old friends we don't get to see often,

brought a smile to my face when i greeted them, ESPECIALLY mr chay, who did not reply val and my birthday messages to him and gave us the impression that he was 6 feet under.

some good friend/ex senior in law huhh.. haha..

nah joking.. matthew, if you're reading this, we still love you.

right, point is that, soon we'll be like that too,

seperated. only the true ones will stay,

like the 4a gang today.

the rest will just fade away.

like what val and i were talking about a very very long time ago,

will we ever be like the previous batch?

so lively, so bonded, so close.

look at them. still going strong, greeting each other as though they just met the day before,

like they're still studying in FMSS.

Frankly back then, both of us envied them,

and sad for the fact that we were just one year late.

i don't know about her, but now, as I look back,

i've gotta say, though we may be different, i think we'll be just fine too.

how bout you?

hmm.. dang i'm tired, but i still gotta go do something.

that something is important.

better get going first before i knock out.

cheers you all.

goodnight.

2006-08-07T05:23:00.000-07:00

Well its not everyday where you get bitched at.

Some people really just don't learn.

To them, the world is just simply THEIR way.

everything else is just seconday to their very parachial line of sight.

Its just absolute to them.

Its THIS WAY, NO WAY ELSE.

right.

and when we stand up for what we think is correct, and display a little deserved irritation,

we get shot and "put back into place" and asked to consider rationality.

you wanna talk about rationality? fine.

how about the many things that are left unsolved under YOUR care.

we're talking about money here.

what YOU are whining about is just PAPER.

seriously, consider it first before telling us to consider some rationality.

right. i'm in a rush.. i'll continue later..

cheers.

2006-08-06T01:46:00.000-07:00

The Life of M and M chocolates under Joshua's evil and tyranical rule.

We huddled together in stark fear, waiting for our impending doom.

In the darkness we shiver, and reminisence about the past events that led to this horrendous capture.

No one could remember.

The last thing all of us remembered was a curtain of darkness befalling over our sugar coated shells, and the next a permanent darkness that engulfed all our bodies in a sack like prison.

Muffled sounds of loud singers float across the thin layer of the sack, and the occasional "ding dong"s made us prick up in fear and attention.

suddenly we were tossed around the bag.

a sudden earthquake ripped across our tiny world and a gigantic din pierced the silence.

WHAM, we slammed with force against a hard surface, causing some casualties for the more unfortunate thin shelled individuals.

a rattle of metallic objects, exchange of booming conversation, and we were off again,

the earthquake taking up a sudden vengence and resuming with full force,

throwing us against the thin walls of the sack.

Then without warning, came the weirdest sensation of our entire sugar shelled lives.

the feeling of lightness that one could not comprehend, the sudden feeling of weightlessness,

floating across a span of long seconds, then WHAM! the earthquake resumes again,

knocking the most of us unconcious, myself included.

Riiiiiiiiiiipppppp.

Light bursts into the surrounding as all of us tumble like a stream out of the sack.

we roll into a conical tank, made out of a hard, cold material, which pricked and stung our sugar coated shells without any much of mercy and compassion.

This CANNOT be good, i thought as i rolled to land on the top pile of bodies,

at the peak of the mini everest of yellow, green, blue and red.

THIS IS SO NOT A TYPICAL SUNDAY AFTERNOON.

Suddenly a flexible claw came tumbling down upon us before we could even say "cat in the hat".

It shot into the tank and just missed me just by a bit, grabbing out the rest of my beloved friends,

Reddy, Greenny, Yellowwy, 1, 2, 3.

All in the future i will never see.

( for your information this is NOT a cute nursery rhyme. )

and indeed, that was the last time i ever heard of them,

(Not as if i ever heard them since we do not have ears, but again, this is for your information just a figure of speech as M and Ms DO NOT have ears, or mouths for that matter, and the author will bear no responsibility for freaked out children who are scared of talking or evesdropping M and Ms after reading a particular story thereafter.)

I waited in horror in the tank, waited for the reappearance of the EVIL CLAW, praying hard for a sort of way out of this situation.

( again, just a figure of speech, as i don't think M and Ms have a god.. hmmm..)

I knew it was all over when the CLAW suddenly reappeared,

poised and ready for the kill,

and i could have sworn i could see pieces of reddy on the tip of its talons.

Anytime now, i held my breath.

( once again, another FOS. not full of shit by the way... do i have to keep doing this?)

But the claw simply lingered..

after what seemed to be hours on end, the claw finally withdrew into the outer boundaries unseen by us.

I could not believe my immense luck, and breathed a sigh of relief.

( I'm not saying anything already..... so THERE.)

And as we all lie in the sudden peacfulness,

i could not help but to wonder what will REALLY happen next.......

editor's note:

well, firstly i was bored.

actually i just finished the poor packet of M and Ms.

what happened was i went to get water, and later simply tipped the whole bowl into my mouth.

I just HAD to have chocolate at that point in time.

well,

its not everyday where the heros live right??

sometimes they just gotta go to make us appreciate the ones that come later.

its called MUTUAL SACRIFICE.

haha.. anyway, i hope you all enjoyed the story as much as i enjoyed typing it.

cheers.

2006-08-04T22:49:00.000-07:00

Saturday Mornings.

. Jazz

. Reading the News

. Playing games

. kicking my already battered soccer ball in the corridors outside and making lots of noise

. dreaming of anything and everything

. taking photos.

. homework

. studies

. playing the piano

good afternoon all.

looks like the saturday afternoon is here.

was listening to jazz and doing homework a while ago before lunch.

darn.. have tuition later though..

hmm.. not that productive this morning actually.

woke up feeling dazed and disorientated.

talk about forgetting everything when you wake up.

there's still a tiny glich of depressed nature in me today.

TINY. MINISCULE.

curable by playing the sims later.

haha.. recently got hooked to the sims 2 for de-stress purpose.

kill the people.. haha.. kidding.

i'm nice to them.. use cheats to make them rich and give them a nice life.

anyway,

i don't know what to say actually.. haha.. i'm bored?

OH! i don't know how to continue...

shit.. aii.. i'm gonna bath now..

cya all tonight.

cheers.

have a good staurday afternoon!

2006-08-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. In love with the picture that i took not long back..

i'm hoping for this one day.

I wanna see the sun again.

cheers.

2006-08-04T05:31:00.000-07:00

Greetings all.

got home not too long ago.

today was a 2 hour plus sch day!

hmm... founders day celebrations for the sec 3s 4 s and 5s..

second one so far, attended the one last night with the 2005 batch..

i must say,

time has indeed flown by..

was telling jane yesterday, how soon will it finally be our turn next year yeasterday.

argh well went to sentosa with weijie elis and jane later on today.

haha.. got myself a tan there!

well, wasn't really feeling top grade over there..

so sorry guys..

been feeling squashed these few days..

really bugged and bogged..

seems that life isn't fair sometimes.. haven't really been focusing and such..

yeaa gotta say a word of thanks to weijie.. you know why dude... haha..

i really need to clear somethings and start moving on..

for my own sake i hope.

well haven't had the time to think these few days..

been one hell of a bullet ride lately..

everything is beginning and ending so soon.

hard to say, but i'm kinda lost in transition.

stuck in the gridlock of trying to piece things together slowly..

darn i need novocaine.

gonna play the piano now..

cheers.

2006-08-01T03:34:00.000-07:00

Aye..

just got home not long.

detoured home to have dinner before heading out again.

see my bro in hospital.

damn.. if there's one thing that i learnt today, it would be to cherish everybody.

had a nasty shock earlier today about what happened..

NASTY.. i was thinking.. what if something ever happened and i never got to apologise for all the wrong i ever did him.

then hit REGRET.

man.. that really sucked..

though in the end i managed to coerce myself not to think about it too much and he'll be fine,

i just had a very very very nasty shock today.

well, least it got me thinking and thanking the Lord for EVERYONE,

FAMILY, TRUE FRIENDS, FRIENDS, MENTORS etc etc..

thank you all SWELL.

tied in with the message in chapel today as well..

could have sworn it was a very clear sign and instruction..

haha.. oh well.. going off to catch him soon.

see ya all later..

cheers.

2006-07-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

Evening all.

Today's word:

Jazz.

indeed, jazz plays apart in every aspect of my life.

for starters, i've been jazzing my life away as of recently..

yes i know, at least i've started to slow down and start to panic a little,

but, its just funny why we're all not running around screaming like a bunch of crazed loonys but still enjoying life.

jazzing life away, i call it.

people say to me, carpe diem,

but its still swing and swung for me at this stage..

well, i think i'll be swing and swung even during the Os,

but hey, at least i'm starting to panic, a little.

haha.

so, update on life:

mugged up for the sake of it,

wrote a few essays,

worried for a few people, things,

bought a new shirt (finally!)

had a fun friday night.

yess.. other than that, life's just a tad bit boring..

i emphasize, TAD bit.

haha.. like i was telling carissa today, i need more excitement in my life.

haha.. went to see naomi dance today at SAJC.

haha.. cool dance i thought.

great job naomi! haha..

headed down to plaza sing for dinner later, and chatted about dead fish and the impact of it on out civilization, literally its IMPACT.

haha.. it was homeward bound after that.

like i was thinking,

you actually can't expect life to get THAT exciting now, furthermore with the Os and stuff.

perhaps after november, but definatly not now..

well.

like i was telling weijie the other day,

it is only a matter of time before i get buried in a hole.. and the only way to get me out is to bomb me out.

how sad.

well, its good to know that other people are feeling happy still,

at least there is a glimmer of happiness around. somehow.

hmm.. i just realised that i haven't been posting the story for a long time.

haha.. doesn't mean i haven't been working on it..

yes i have been, but haven't found a good place to cut yet.

well, been caught up with many temporal and lets say frivolious things of the late.

looking back, i have no idea what happened then.

personally i'm just speechless, and i guess silence is golden.

well i learnt today to trust more, question less,

lets just say that will be my choice for the course to come.

after all, the aftermath still lingers.

ah yes jane has sent me the pictures.

enjoy.

cheers.

After dinner farce. The ones that made it and the DANCER.

The difference between FUNKY and PLAIN SILLY.

Note: I'm NOT worshipping it. i'm just an activist. haha.

2006-07-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

Hey folks,

just got back not long,

darn the party topped it today i must say.

a great stress reliever..

well, a continuation of the previous post,

went to meet miss liang and hia before heading there.

got there, food was great, party was great, people were funky.

sang, ate, mingled,played, yaked the whole time.

haah.. now i'm darn tired.

continue tomorrow..

cheers!

2006-07-28T02:28:00.000-07:00

earliest i've been home so far today.

haha... well, partly due to the event later on at jeremy tan zy's house.

see, its a farewell party. heh.

hopefully its fun. i need a good break now.

well, would have stayed and watched the ndp today.

the band is playing, and i'm missing out! damnn.

haha.. wanna play again..

but, oh well, parents came to fetch bro, so i hopped on too.

now stoning infront here,

still in my uniform.

its 530, meeting miss liang and hia around 730 i think..

or maybe i'll go up myself.

mom got a new laptop.. some singtel thing. haha.

now its wireless! wahaha.. so i don't need to stretch my head to see who comes online next time.

well, 'testing' it out for her now. the battery is kinda at dire straits.

about yesterday,

haha, sorry to give a few people shocks.

i needed to vent it. what happened really was too much.

she didn't deserve it.

to the innocent hydrogen peroxide corroded friend,

i'm sorry if you found it too biting on him.

its just that as a friend, i can't just stand by and watch you go through this torture.

like junior of jeraldine koh wei may rightly said,

its just not right man!

haha.. so forgive me if it was outright contemptuous.

heh.

anyway, i gotta go get ready already..

cya all later!

haha.

cheers.

2006-07-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

Hiatus.

A long period of rest.

Probably needing a very very good hiatus now.

can't wait for jane's 90 something day countdown to be over.

i wanna travel. heh.

dreams of chiang mai, italy and france keep flitting in and out recently.

the first one is a must go. haha.. still trying to persude.

second and third are dreams, hoping to turn into reality. haha.

damn, this week is rather tedious and tiring.

not at the peak of moods i must say,

but trying to get there. haha.

been bogged down by a whole lot of piling things and trash.

piling things:

homework.

study.

dust under my bed.

the tissue paper in the waste basket.

(the above point, is due to my seriously malfunctioning nose. it has been 4 days. though its better, my throat is now affected and dry. GREAT..)

there's a great imbalance somewhere i'd swear..

the whole world's going topsy turvy half the time i don't even know what hit me.

take for example,

i didn't even know that there was a rule now to stay away from female friends who are hitched and attached.

i thought friends could just stay as friends, no harm,

but somehow the guys seem to have a "they will elope secretly" mentality stuck right up their ass into their cerebellum, and hell they'll just stick with this thinking,

even though the situation is very clear that these two friends are just FRIENDS,

and the chances of them coming together and "eloping secretly" are as low as Ghandi carrying a pistol or beating his kids.

the worst part is, the "offender" doesn't get the punishment, but lo ho ho! the friends attached get the punishment!

all the "offender" gets is a very sullen and black face by the over paraniod guy and a very bad mood.

bad mood? why? because they feel bad that their friends get this sort of punishments and at the same time feel sad for them for enrolling into a nunnery, where inside, they only learn that there is only one guy, and that guy is their beau.

Thats the very first law there. believe me.

lets not be childish about this. we've been friends longer that you've tried to get your hands locked with hers.

nothing is ever going to chage that, and the FACT that we are only FRIENDS.

seriously, if you hadn't had acted like you're totally whack,

and did not have started squealing and giving her the attitude when i come around to talk to her,

i would have thought that she actually might have deserved you and actually congratulated the both of you.

little info, i actually was HAPPY for her when i found out.

now? i REGRET that i actually told her once to follow her heart.

you two wanna live in a world of your own, i'm fine with that,

but please don't restrict her till she can't even have a proper 10 second chat with other guys.

she's trying her best to keep in touch,

but i beseech you, know that a relationship is about trust.

not about keeping the person in a cage just because something might have happened in the passion of the spur of a moment.

i'll be brutally frank here.

i forgive you and lets get on with life.

now the ball is in YOUR court.

play it wise.

cheers.

2006-07-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

Oh finally..

blogger is up and running today..

felt too whacked yesterday to keep trying.

anyway, my nose has been giving me a whole bunch of trouble lately.

seriously a whole bunch. from work to moods to friends,

i just wanna say i'm sorry for any stupid things done, or caused.

forgive my state of irritation for my health.

trying the funky chinese medicines and stuff, but they seem to work reeaaall slowly.. well..

thank God that today is very much better, compared to yesterday..

haha.. wished jane was there to spike my face yesterday..

at least i'll be knocked out and sedated. ha!

well.. don't really have much to say now..

well maybe except supercalifrageslisticexpialidocious if you'd want me too.

come to think of it, i don't even think its the correct spelling. heh.

2006-07-23T05:03:00.000-07:00

Yes i was being ultimatly frank in my previous post.

i realised that this problem really is a big one,

and i'll really have to find what i'm looking for again.. fast.

anyway, other than that, i'm fine and on the way back to my normal cheer.

so i hope that i didn't startle anyone with the previous.

i was just stating feelings.

actually, i was contemplating wether to put this post up,

but i decided, what the hell, since i aready wrote it, why not.

so, i aplogise for any shocks and startles.

NO, i'm not going to commit suicide via means of drinking coke till i die,

and NO i did not smash any windows.

they were just examples.

haha.. i'm still quite happy with life.

i think i'll find what i'm looking for soon,

since i already know what to look for!

haha..

anyway,

to those who know.

thanks alot guys, for cheering me up.

i just want all of you to know that this has just been something to open my eyes bigger to see better and to get my act together.

haha.. no hard feelings. really.

i'll personally thank you guys when i see you all.. haha.

so all in all,

i'm still lovin it!

speaking of that, i feel like having macs.

macs anyone? someday... haha..

2006-07-23T04:19:00.000-07:00

I woke up not long ago.

I had a dream,

but sadly forgot what it was.

I really do not know what to say about this.

Frankly this is just about the most truthful and sincere that you have of me so far.

What happened yesterday happened for a reason.

That i took as a sign, to haul ass, to press on, to do it with my own blood,

and not with INK on a piece of paper.

I was sad, yes.

I was disappointed, yes.

I was angry at myself, probably.

But i know that if thats what it is, thats what it is.

Thats what He wants, so be it, i'll stay firm and trust.

But what i'm really weeping for, where the cut really cuts deep,

is over the question, "where have my dreams gone to?"

I realise that, sadly, i've lost my dreams.

they've reduced to becoming something that i can't even comprehend already.

or they've been crushed, somehow.

I don't see the masterpiece behind the brass instrument as i used to see anymore.

It has just become a piece of brass to me.

I don't see the passion behind love anymore as i used to feel or hear about.

You fall short, and crash.

What happened yesterday, i can live with.

In fact, i'm already over feeling self pity and anger over what happened.

Like what my friends, family said,

its a learning expierience, and i'll do better the next time.

To you guys, thanks for being there, really.

I'll take this as something that will push me harder in getting to where i want to,

and yes, i'm fine already.

but what i can't live with, is that my dreams have somehow been extinguished.

well, i can cry over it, smash windows, drink coke till i die,

but hey, its not going to help, its NEVER going to help.

I can leave it, and retain my cheer, go to school tomorrow, meet friends, be cheerful,

but still having that hole there that will slowly expand and one day consume me.

To all you out there who feel as if you have lost your dreams, or perhaps maybe in the hustle and bustle of this world, you have forgotten it,

i just wanna say i understand, and i'm sorry for thinking that it was no big deal before.

now i'm here, i can say that it hurts.

and i guess, the only thing that we can only do,

is to just start dreaming all over again.

and in Faith, in time,

we'll find that spark again.

I'll be fine.

2006-07-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

My feet are aching..

oww.. but, i'm not regretting. haha!

well, spent the whole good saturday out today with my two great friends weijie and elis.

well, valerie came along. BUT, to the valerie chua reading this, valerie here is elis's niece, or grandcousin, or something like that. haha..

anyway, the to-do list was very short and sweet today,

1. get boot laces (weijie)

2. get shin guards (weijie)

3. buy weijie a collared shirt.

4. elis wants clothes.

5. joshua wants to slack.

well, we managed to complete all of the above, so you could call today fruitful. haha..

erm, for all you out there who might be probably wondering where no.1 2 and 3 fit,

1 and 2 was just weijie's list. 3 was weijie's early birthday present for an animal farm occasion.

i was just compiling everything up, see?

haha.. anyway, wasn't too perked up in the early afternoon, due to a certain matter of disappointments and a growling stomach, of course not pertaining to those 2! haha..

but it turned out fine i'd say after lunch. haha..

i just got a call.

it did not bode well.

i'm feeling like shat now.

crap.

2006-07-21T07:39:00.000-07:00

hmm i just found my old school diaries..

haha.. sure does bring back many memeories.

had a blast reading through them again. hmm..

well hello folks. haven't been having the luxury of being able to blog lately..

today marks the point in my life where everything comes full circle.

you see today is FSB's hand over.

my last phototaking with the band.

the last time i'll be able to wear the blazers.

however, full circle as we may call it,

or perfect square or equilateral triangle for that matter,

it sure did not feel FULL at all.

we talk endlessly about the importance of roots,

the essence of tradition, the strength of bondage,

but rip out the very foundation and roots intervowen with tradition that spans over many years in an instant.

pity ain't it?

anyway, i would just like to say a BIG THANK YOU to FSB for making me who i am today.

seriously. i wouldn't be the person i am today if it was not for FSB.

well, my seniors would agree wholeheartedly on it.. yeaa guys?

miss the scoldings, encouragements, funky times, and of course the MUSIC.

Do listen to Amelia now that i'm gone eh?

you all can consider it my "dyingwish".. haha..

and YES... chauh aiwee.. i want my FAREWELL!!! haha..

well.. alls well that ends well.. thats all i gotta say.

and good riddance to bad rubbish.

well..so, basically, if one took out a certain midgit i mean fidgit,

and blocked out a few rays of sueable hairstyle,

today has indeed been full circle,

or perfect square, or equilateral triangle for that matter.

haha.

enjoy the shots folks.

josh. joa. val. sel. issac.

2005-2006.without alston..again...

The NIRMA.

NO MORE nirma. haha..

Jolly good I must say..

Val! Weijie! Josh! Joa!

"This guy is hot.." says weijie.. haha!

Ongsy and co.

All's well that ends well.indeeed..

cheers.

2006-07-17T05:09:00.000-07:00

I just realised something.

i ran out of foolscap paper.

thats bad.

well, just came home not long.

big mistake today to take 197.

it took hell long.. actually it looped around the area.

talk about around the bushes.

this went literally AROUND the bush just to get to marine parade.

should have just waited for 196, at least that would be STRAIGHT, with a little looping.

haha.. well, dozed off on the bus, so it wasn't that bad.

had chinese listening compre today.

the last part of the whole long chinese os.

and it was GOOD!

somehow.. i could understand and do the questions. wahaha!

its over!! for now..

be glad.. haha.. anyway,

headed to queensway shopping centre with weijie, elis and kim later that afternoon.

i am VERY puzzled and boggled by something.

how can queensway shopping centre, a reknowned sports apparel merchat "flag-ship"

lack a simple 2 strands of soccer boot shoelaces??!!

we literally trapeezed around the levels, and only found bootlaces in 1 out of 7 shops!

sad thing was that the bootlaces did not match weijie's boot colour. aww..

anyway, was fruitless this trip.. we'll try again soon eh dude? haha..

and just pray that the next place we go to will be INFLUXED with bootlaces.

well anway went to ikea for a snack later on..

met celeste there! all you people who are now going,"celeste.. sounds familiar.."

yes she is, primary school mate.. err.. now in cresent girls.

haha.. small world.

anyway, val wants me to put up more pictures.

so here there are for your viewing pleasure. haha.

enjoy.

Here's one for the egoist. haha. YOU enjoy this!!

Hmm.. would you believe me if i said we were acting in singing in the rain?

Do you guys see a similarity??

Not exactly very inviting.

This is just to make val happier.. old times, val, dear senior and i..

cheers.

2006-07-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

Song of the day:

"Wings" by gustavo santaolalla.

it's the last track of brokeback mountain.

its main theme. really a haunting melody.

it just makes you sit back and ponder, freedom, love, time, space.

gee.. if only i had been born a cowboy in wyoming.. find a nice lady, settle down with sheep and great sweeping lands with the mountains as my neighbours. kids to fockle and play on the porch,

a nice simple, quiet yet vast life.

If Only.

well. life is definatly throwing a curved ball these few days.

you can just feel it leave a deep mark.

like carissa rightly said in her blog, four long years finally cut down to four short months.

its going to end soon, whether we like it or not.

don't you just think life is a tragic story, a splendid poem, woven through fabrics of feelings, through the fabric of time.

an oscar winning performance.

a pulitzer prize,

a nobel book prize.

many things spell LIFE and represent all its glorious splendour,

but we're forgetting the main thing.

life, at the end of the day, behind the mask of so many different metaphors that anyone can ever come up with, is sadly and realistically, still LIFE.

it hasn't been that simple.

life, is LIFE!

that simple. the complication comes when people try to interprete it, when its all in their face.

that results in screwups and falling short.

take away all the assumptions and interpretations, and hell just live it.

right. day was pretty okay.

went to support my little creatures after class today.

FSB got a silver! and i'm happy!

why? because they improved a great lot! 75 percent.

just 5 percent more! in time we'll see results.

have faith. like mr sim said, move on and work harder!

to FSB:

guys, though i was late in catching you all play,

(i'm really very sorry.. i felt like a total jerk when i arrived),

but all i've gotta say is great job on the silver! at least we maintained!

well, the journey is still long, and there's time to improve!

great improvement in this competition by the way!

in the competition, you all might notice something.

a case on ship jumping.

okay. not ship jumping, but ship abandoning.

all i gotta say to that is, good riddance to bad rubbish.

we don't need such things. we're a blessed group of people!

don't get complacent, and just strive for the best!

go you guys!

after that went for dinner with val selene and alston.

took a stroll around suntec city after that.

selene's free camera was kinda bizzaire.. hmm..

well, actually, my mood is dipping today.

its called low sugar rush.

talking about sugar rushes..

according to mrs kwa, it has been scientifically proven that for a couple, the average sugar rush will last for 6 months. true? you tell me.

well, i'm kinda 30 percent happy, 50 percent dismal, 15 percent regretful and 5 percent angsty.

talk about mixed up huhh.

when transparency capitalizes over good humouredness, the rain will come.

i've said my peace.

well waiting for sel to send the photos, and i'll end with a collage today.

hope you guys like it.

goodnight!

Char and I! the restricted and the retro!

Josh. Val. Alston. Sel

WIDE.

Marylin!

Versus CHANEL. haha!

Barney never was THAT friendly.

Likewise, val was NEVER THAT sweet!! aww..

It was bad. trust me. haha.

They make good friends.

cheers!

2006-07-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

Hello folks.

To FSB:

to all of my little creatures,

all the best for tomorrow's competition.

You guys really have improved a GREAT deal.

Thank God that He blessed FSB with a good conductor.

hoping that he stays for good. i can see hope in his staying.

Do have fun tomorrow. main thing is not the prize, or the glory.

its about the passion. what we play up there as musicians.

our main purpose is not to compete, not to gain glory,

but to "play to our heart's content".

do that tomorrow, and you guys will be just fine.

leave everything else to Him above.

Have Fun!

i'll see all of you there.

life indeed has been slow the past few days.

just had my oral exams for chinese.

totally sucked to the core.

never in a million, gazillion, trillion years would i have expected the question.

do i look like i sue my parents?

seriously.. haha...

2006-07-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

Funny i seem to have the sudden urge to conduct.

ever since the start of yesterday.

i've been feeling vibes and waves of which i can't explain.

i think i've been out of the buisiness for too long.

i HUNGER to conduct, HUNGER to play the sax..

i need SAX!! ophone that is...

maybe i should just steal one from the band room one day.

i have the urge to do all things musical suddenly.

actually, it has been my dream just to conduct once.

any band, any song. just a dream.

hoping that this year would shine some light on it somehow.

but meanwhile, the hunger still remains.

norman's idea of a band suddenly seems VERY VERY interesting.

oh by the way, trivia time.

a little more about me.

i've always wanted to own a jazz club.

a nice one next to a nice lazy canal in italy.

shared this with norman that day. he seemed pretty keen.

looking for buisiness partners. anyone? haha..

you do the buisiness, i get the jazz, set.

tell me if you are interested.

yupp that was a little peak.

just got off messenger and the books.

feeling very empty for music now.

haven't really been playing for the past 3 weeks.

only have the piano to keep me company.

but, deep inside,

my heart is calling out for the one instrument that will satisfy me TOTALLY.

you all know what that is yeaa.

well. gonna nap now. will try to wake later at 130.

hopefully if i don't make it, weijie will succeed. thanks dude by the way.

catch it later on!

cheers!

Laments of a SAX addict.

2006-07-09T02:00:00.000-07:00

Hey all!

haha.. just came back from church not long..

really tired out..

caught the match last night, and whoo it was so hard trying to stay awake.

well. actually, i failed miserably and ended up sleeping for the second half.

woke up only to hear the german anthem playing.

shucks. haha..

BUT, at least germany won.

to carissa once again,

sadly, micheal ballack's locks didn't inspire much shock today to portugal's bollocks,

wait, he didn't even play today!! well, but your wish came true.. GERMANY reigned.

all hail the germans! long live the queen!

haha.

pirates of the caribbean tonight folks.

do catch it.

captain jack sparrow never acted so loony.

haha.. destress yourself from the hustle and bustle of the day and just laugh your socks off!

oh not to mention the finals.. haha!

you all GOTTA watch it!

even joaquina's gonna watch it,

so why not you?? haha..

its pasta versus escargot tonight.

bon appetite all you socceroos one last time.

well academia has been slow the past few days.

been havin fun and stuff.

actually frankly i don't see what's wrong with having fun too.

just as long you get something done at the end of the day, its fine.

well, a new week is at hand.

really hoping to get things done.

arhh well its raining today.

brings me back to so many things.

the time where you just spend your entire day talking about life,

thinking about the things that matter the most,

feel down, cheer others up,

play a song, listen to jazz,

those were what rainy days meant to me, a long time ago.

That time now feels so close, but yet so distant.

somehow.

till later all! haha..

cheers!

2006-07-08T06:01:00.000-07:00

Greetings.

firstly, the tagboard is up. To your right, scroll down.

finally i must say.

once again kudos to jane for setting it up.

've been a real help doing this whole thing.

i'm kinda not blog savvy,

so jane here has to help out here and there..

savvy?

speaking of savvy,

pirates of the caribbean is gonna be good..

looks good, feels good.

well, looking forward to hear the same familliar theme played by the band on 2 occasions again.

well was just blog surfing.

my goodness..

don't you just cringe when you open a page and an oh-so-cliched-and-sappy, and not to mention loud song comes on and starts screeching and alarming everyone in the room?

or when you open up a page and scary looking pictures of razzling, dazzling "cute" humans pop up as fast as you can say "wasabe" and take your breath away, for the wrong reasons altogether?

they seem to promote peace and appear to be from the UN's peace party,

but i'll be a monkey's uncle that that sign actually has a secret "i am cuter and more bimbotic than you" message waiting to blare itself to the viewers along with all the pinkness you can ever be radiated with in the whole wide colour spectrum.

whoo.. scary..

by the way, this is random.

only applies to people who appear in these categories.

no offence

well, day was average.

it was a usual "i'm no desperate housewives" kind of saturday.

nothing much.

cheers.

2006-07-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

as promised here's the update on life.

haha.

well, firstly, i would like to take the time to express my joy and happiness to 5 dear friends whom i have had the previledge of meeting.

WEI JIE CHAR ELIS NAT JANE.

before i met them, i was still bumming,

waiting and hoping that the Lord help me find my true friends one day.

One rainy night, during the last day of TP OBS 2005.

i was aquainted with WEI JIE.

everything changed from that day on.

You can say that everything just fell into place.

Chiang Mai, everything just came,

and the Lord really has blessed me with these wonderful true friends that i can keep for, well lets just say a VERY, VERY LONG time.

JANE came next, followed by CHAR, then ELIS and NAT.

THE dog. woof. (not to mention a squirrel.)

a cat (who incidentally is a great squirrel counterpart too.)

a pokemon. with its fire on its head.

a tigress. whoo.. furry and fierce.

a donkey. well.. one of its kind.

an unidentified. we'll find out soon! don't worry!

To you 5 dear animals,

you all have really added colour and joy into my life.

never failing to brighten up my days and making them.

as the year is about to draw to a smashing big season finale,

its just my biggest regret not knowing you all earlier.

yupp well, though the four of us can't, like weijie said retain for another year

(although the toughts are tempting. haha!)

but we'll always find each other somehow someways,

and never let this end, never saying goodbye.

but in the meantime, ENJOY ALL THIS TO THE FULLEST! ha!

hmm.. most definatly, you 5 are SWELL.

i've said my peace.

yeaa..

so, bout life.

wednesday.

subway at jp with the 5 aminals.

subway was good. haha.

after that went to walk in toys r us.

haha.. the gals did the thingymajig colour thingy.

1 hr of colouring, accidentally mixing colours, colouring again.

ha.

got back, muggg.. unfortunatly..

thursday.

BORINGG... tuition.

vectors.

sucked BIG TIME.

confusion in the air.

FRIDAY. TODAY.

school ended at 12!

headed to swensens with the 5 animals for unlimited ice cream!

GOOD GOOD GOOD.

actually.. weijie jane and i only survived to 4 scoops.

while char did a whopping 12 scoops,

last time. haha!

incredible.

had 3, already couldn't take it..

went to look for sun with weijie to "melt the ice cream in the stomach".

went back, fourth one,

surrender.

man..

till now.. i'm still feeling kinda bloated.

well.. a new idea is in the making and process.

its gonna be GOOD.

haha! well..

i'm gonna mug for mr "i-love-plasmids-they-are-the-world's-most-interesting-boredom" chan's bio test.

catch ya around.

cheers.

2006-07-07T04:53:00.000-07:00

You cross the halls in their innocent silence,
play some jazz on the record player.
their notes trail off with the tinge of everlasting eternity,
and the sweet serenade moves and drives you to fleets above the normal cloud nine.
Suddenly the windows must be closed, the air cooled,
and you have the urge to stir up a cup of warm exotic flavors.
So across goes the windows, and down comes the blinds,
softly extinguishing the blazing lights, to a lustrous seduction.
The air suddenly feels soft, as soft as the pleasant whispers from a lover's heart, and you are contented.

You sit with the company of unseen angels, and together savor the moment.
You let the soft notes guide you, seduce you and inspire you,
as you cross the land of beauty and splendor, the land decorated by the simple sophistication of afternoon jazz.
You sit, and reminiscence, think about the good and the bad, the ups and the downs,
the long and the short.
You remember the fall of the seasons, the change of the tide, the old faces, the new faces, the happiness, the sadness.
How time has robbed everyone of their time together.
You ponder the startling irony, and in an instant, you are sad.
A new life awaits you at the end of the path like a mother waiting to embrace your child.
You see yourself running to the end, happy and grateful that life has given all of you the opportunity to take the wonderful path,
but among you, you see others, running in a different direction, some into the sunset, some across you, others still running that part of their lives.
Faces you will never get to meet again, words never to be said again, laughters never to be heard again,
you look around you, and find you are alone, alone in this path to the start of the horizon.

At this moment, the darkness engulfs you, swallowing you whole in the face of a new beginning.
The irony tears you apart, setting fires of passionate sadness blazing within your heart.
What you have come so far to built, insecurity sneaks in and tears it apart.
But in the heat of the fleeting passions and sadness, the lustre holds out,
the jazz plays on. It is then you realise that true friends play on as well.
Remember the bliss, the comfort, and the love.
You remember the promises, set apart by trueness, and kept within the secrets of the heart for an eternity to come, worn on the shoulders of friendship.
It is then you smile, you remember, you trust.

And as You open your eyes,
smiling, remembering, trusting,
the jazz plays on, just as the friendships run on,
into the sunset on the horizon,
and that is when,
I realise that i am,
Indeed having the time of my life.

Cheers.

2006-07-06T03:52:00.000-07:00

Things i must remember to do before the week ends.

Find my darned comments space thingy. apparently it went on a "oh-you-can't-find-or-see-me" holiday ever since i changed the template. BAD comments. BAD.
Comfort carissa on Germany's lost. Carissa, i'm so sorry that micheal ballack's locks couldn't inspire much shock to italy's bollocks. well at least they have four more years to pull up their socks. really sad.. well, i'm sure GERMANY will reign soon!
Comfort Naomi on Brazil's lost. well, actually only one word will do the trick. observe. Naomi, KAKA!!!!! (serious panting from other side of the line..) see?
Unfortunatly mug up for the upcoming Bio, A math tests and Chemistry MINI QUIZ (i seriosly do not see a difference), to avoid Mr "i-love-plasmids-they-are-the-world's-most-interesting-boredom" Chan, miss yeo and miss liang from throwing anything molecularly damaging or converted to three significant figures at us, then inviting us to "try again" to repeat this devastating cycle all over again. once is quite enough thank you very much.
Touching on academic matters, have you ever wondered, why we study the wierdest of topics? take locus for example. i really DO NOT SEE THE POINT in drawing random lines and circles on a piece of blank paper. seriously.. i finally understand where the phrase "one flew over the cuckoo's nest came from".. it originated from some nut case drawing circles and lines under the facade of "constructing" well planned and academically sound "constructions".. sheesh.. sets and matrices are other troublemakers, but that's another story altogether..

Well thats all i can muster for now.. like what a certain all time famous body-builder-that-decided-that-acting-was-cool-before-being-a-governor had said once playing a hitman, or robot, or some foreign body for that matter, "i'll be back."

cheers.

2006-07-04T05:52:00.000-07:00

Not to startle anyone, but i am OKAY already..

thanks for the concern.

ignore the previos post.

haha..

i'm smiling.

are you?

cheers.

2006-07-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have the feeling that you've been stepped upon, taken for a fool and spat in the face?

well. today is not a good day.

don't know.. started the afternoon in a very foul mood today.

no particular reason.

just felt very vindictive and frustrated all of a sudden.

life has been good, yes, but its just THAT part.

the rest sucks. seriously.

a mental timer constantly screaming in your head and counting down days to imminent doom is not very easy to ignore.

with the warnings and the bells there, getting down to work is the next big difficulty.

i just can't seem to get down with it.

i'm just hanging on to a hope that i'll just snap awake and get things sorted out and clarified.

well there you have it.. i just went through a special complementary parent's worry session with dear dad.

well.. actually.. i'm frustrated not because they're wrong and i'm right and all so glorious..

but because i know their right and i'm not doing anything about it to stop meself getting distrated.

yes, surprise surprise, joshua lim gets distracted.

yes i know the stereotype you people have, nerd, mugger, good to take advantage of, go ask him to do all my homework, bug him for he looks harmless and since he looks like he fills his head with a sack of books and nothing else, that he doesn't have a life, can't find anyone, weak, disturbed, yea rip him off since he looks like a freaking somebody you can bloody take advantage of.

well to all you piss poor attitudes out there, this "little bugger of a nerd" does have a life, and feelings too incidentally. and YES, i freaking get distracted. doesn't mean i smile like a fool everyday means i'm someone you can screw around with mentally. chances are you'll just screw yourself over all the same in your confusion and end up looking all stupid. so i have an advice. why don't you all just take that piss poor attidude of yours, and shove it right UP your ass.

i'm done with this bullshit.

i'm sorry. that had to come out.

well i'm distracted all righty these days,

and everyone seems to be preoccupied with... i don't know.. everyone else?

well sometimes i just wonder why i bother about other things that don't concern me,

other people's problems and stuff.

i've tried not bothering, but i just realise that i'll become miserable not making people happy again.

i can't NOT bother. its just not me. so rest assured i'll not STOP bothering.

i'll just be the same throughout. just today a little extra spice.

anyway, i'd guess i'm gonna push forward as usual.

i still have others to push to go forward, others to keep encouraging, to keep showing that i BOTHER.

seriously i don't usually expect an appreciation,

but sometimes you just need one just to keep you smiling you know?

well guess its onwards then.

have to get back to the books.

never giving up,

the Lord will be OUR guide.

amen.

sorry for the outburst.

2006-07-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

Boy all of you must be wondering why i'm still up at this unearthly hour.

well, was watching a movie.

don't say a word, by micheal douglas.

its quite good.

haha.. but now i can't seem to sleep.

well. brazil v.s. france in about 8 minutes time.

hell i'm not THAT crazy to watch that match.

couldn't possibly wake up tomorrow if i did anyway.

so here's the update for tonight.

england is out, portugal is in, movie was good, and the lead actress of 6 days 7 nights shot a flair at a palm tree.

what could have been better?

well big apologies to my three doinks just now.

i was VERY distracted.

sorry if i sounded laggy, despondent or fake in any sense.

its not everyday when you have everything happening at once.

we'll talk again soon yea?

take my gentleman's word for it.

well.. not saying that i'm a gentleman..

but well, you three get the point ya?

haha..

well. should start following people's advice and get a tag board soon.

hmm. wonder what surprises it'll bring.

so, in the past 6 minutes of ranting and stuff,

i still haven't kick started any yawns in my system.

now that is pretty bad folks.

so, i'll just post a few photos and we'll call it a day ya?

cheers.

3:00 exact. sweet.

ughh.. this sucks.

i can't upload.

why? i don't know. haha.. another day then.

bye!

2006-07-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

Phrase of the day:

poetry in motion.

a phrase dedicated to the art of speed,

to the beauty of creation.

the sophistication and splendour of movement.

indeed.

its just beautiful, the way the words are expressed.

haha.

anyway, today was quite uninteresting..

class, that sort.

now juggling between 6 days 7 nights and football.

great shows..

spoilt for choice.

oh i have nothing to say today.

just, i hope to world is still spinning properly tomorrow.

cheers.

2006-06-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

Goodness i can't seem to sleep.

actually fell asleep whilst studying just now.. 10 plus to 12.. haha.

then now its like i got shot with a coke bomb..

can't seem to shut my eyes!

bummer.

well today was a good day.

stayed back to play audience to the ncc for their farewell.

i must say, it was a jolly good show.

haha seriously.. i'm just tired now so energy is very low to express it.

haha.. great job guys!

well.. its kinda like when such days come then you start to appreciate your ccas.

well at least they got to do what they wanted to do..

we didn't even get to play el camino real one last time,

investiture was cancelled on us,

band camp didn't concern us.

it has been 3 months..

but still leaderless.

going into competition without a leader.

thats got to be the most bravest but stupidest thing ever.

okay maybe not that stupid.

but then again, i'm just really frustrated.

3 freaking months.

you mean you take 3 freaking months to decide such a simple thing like that?

well.. maybe you all "accidentally" lost our nominated few..

thats why you're taking a damn long time REDOING IT.

seriously. its not their fault.

they're really a spunky lot of people.

to the band,

you guys just press on with all your might.

i'm sorry if i have failed you all in any ways.

you are improving, that can be seen,

but problem is that some of you all are too lax and there is no feeling when you all play.

sometimes i hear its just notes.

gotta work on that..

well but whatever the case, work hard for the next 2 weeks,

and whatever happens, we'll thank God for it.

ONWARDS!

so, like i was saying,

its not their fault, and they don't desrve this shat.

they deserve better to have an OFFICIAL leader leading them.

It has been 3 months.

don't let chaos take over fully, because if that happens,

we'll all be screwed now won't we?

so, i have done my part by worrying and there's nothing else i can say or do.

question is now, what are YOU going to do?

think about it.

fast.

2006-06-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

well hey all I'm back.

well,kinda packed a night for me today.

trying to cram physics today,

doing sound.

notice the word is TRY.

well, got to the 3rd page.

good enough for a start.

actually, doing it online with friends is good!

you push them and such.

well.. actually was finishing eng with weijie and char online.

we did this scheme whereby we set a time frame to do work, and later talk.

coolness? haha.. that word i just learnt from val.

just got off the phone with her.

she's high. thats bad.

anyway, my day today was great! haha..

school was per normal, but the main event was after school!

haha.. weijie needed sewing for his uniform, hence we detoured to the tailors before dining.

pizza hut with them funky 3! haha.. weijie elis and charmaine.

met another group there.. aaron and michelle with nicole. haha!

pizza hut was SPLENDID. haha.. had lots of fun.

must make it a point to do such things again.

like i always say, you all NEVER fail to make my day.

thats good. yes.

the days seem to be getting better and better.

wait. actually.. tomorrow is a dreadful day.

tuition.

bollocks.

save my poor soul.

well.. actually there's something else happening in school now.

but i'll just leave it for another day.

mentioning it just spoils my mood.

well. this portion next is a reply to jane.

i am actually sacrificing study to do this.

I'm nice. haha..

anyway, i'll be replying in jane language,

so this is not for the faint hearted.

to jane:

actually, i wanted to answer in you language,

but i realised that simplicity is subtlety.

firstly, i am no geek.

i do have a life, thank you very much.

secondly, i do appreciate the idea of myself as an outcast.

don't ask why. live with it. heh.

thirdly, thanks for being such a good tigress, alongside weijie and charmaine.

you three...... Picture Perfect.

fourthly, do try to comprehend me. =)

everything i write about, there is a subtle something somewhere.

it links to my thinkings, moods and believes. EVERYONE does that.

question is, how subtle is it?

well, thats for me to know, and for you, my dear analyser, to find out.

lastly, there is no last because humans are erranous.

it just keeps going on and on.

have fun with your plasmids!

cheerio!

2006-06-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

hmm just got back not long ago.

okay.. actually was 1 hr ago.

feeling rather tied down now..

i really do not wanna go tuition tomorrow.

shat.

feeling that this is all forced down my throat.

its starting to veer upwards.

everyone is screaming to you to get started.

think its that easy? why don't you all try..

i'll start when i damn well please..

which will most probably be soon.

dang. just survived a 5 min lag.

bloody piece of trash is falling apart.

stupid bugger.. bollocks.

well.. piano in 10 mins..

my goodness..

well. school has been good.

haha.. lovely actually.

well except for ONE tiny detail..

i'll talk bout that later.. now for dinner.

bye.

2006-06-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Well hello all.

just finished tying up the homework bundle.

couldn't find my bag.

yes, the one that got PISSED on.

well Beckham just scored.

the crowd went WILD.

haha! great job England.

watching bits and parts..

all thanks to hmwk..

arghh..

anyway, here're the pictures from cm gathering.

have i mentioned that i loved that night?

haha.. don't think i have.

lookin back at the pictures,

that night was better than PERFECT.

wait... not the night. the entire day beginning from whence we went weijie's house.

wahaha.

enjoy.

Note: this is NOT what it looks like.. haha!

I'm being mobbed and attacked by tigress Jane, while Charmiane sits by nibbling m and ms.

never outgrowing the things. more like the things outgrowing us!

okay right,

looks like the server is a little screwed up..

i'll continue tomorrow..

cheerio!

2006-06-24T05:31:00.000-07:00

“I don’t believe in love.”

Many stories follow the trend of all time favourite clichés in the world of storytelling, starting with a good opening, a flawless and complex plot, layers of sub plots, a probable twist, an exciting climax, and a heartbreak closing. I am going to tell you a story that is not like that. It does not follow the rules; bends a few and most certainly will be tragic and angsty to a certain degree.

This is the story of Duane Peterson, and it begins whence he is just a young boy living in a peaceful town in England, right up through his life till he finally finds himself and what he has been searching for his whole life. Actually, I could go on all I liked about him and tell you what happens through my perspective, but of course, you’d want to hear it from him yourself, wouldn’t you?

Like I said before, I don’t believe in love. Ever since the day I first tasted the air of the world, love has just been a mere word in the English dictionary to me. My mates, pastor and teacher tell me that everyone has their purposes on this earth, but they don’t know what I am, whatever I have been through, what I have seen or even experienced do they? No one could ever understand where I was coming from, pointing at, or thinking of. Well, only my best mate Derrek fathoms, but he has seen, experienced and understood the circumstances; the closest anyone within a mile from the church to the Perry Lake has came to comprehending me. In short, I was half an accident, and half a black sheep.

Prime years of my life were spent in constant turbulence. Though details are fuzzy, but the inscribed sounds of screaming and argument into the night constantly find their way into my dreams, and silently puncture the stillness and peacefulness of the night, strangling me with the fear that the horror was back again for a second vengeance, the screams and bangs and glass cracking steadily increasing in volume against the silence of the night. The crying of both mother and child penetrating even the boldest of hearts. Indeed, one may think that the story ends here, at the very junction of a deprived and sad childhood, mixed with abuse and dangerous fathers, but it just begun.

.......................................................

2006-06-24T05:17:00.000-07:00

well i'm back.

some kinda afternoon.

haha.. quicknotes version:

played piano

slacked

watched LOST

slacked somemore.

OH. and got an sms in the afternoon!

oh my.. ITS UP!!! haha...

i literally fell off my chair laughing..

rereading our nonsense!!

oh man.. you THREE really just make my day.

SERIOUSLY. =p

anyway, testing up the paragraphing.

didn't know how to at first.

jane taught me.

haha. so if this works, thanks jane!

right. the need to revamp is screaming at me.

should really visit blog skins soon.

for those who have really nothing much to do the last day of the hols,

go to you tube dot com,

check out miss swan.

she's laugh out loud funny.

cheer yourself up.

heh.

well anyway, just sent the first post of the story for edit.

editor jane says it good to go!

so here it comes!

hope you all like it.

note:

any characters living or dead or whatever the hell they do DO NOT resemble anything or anyone, i'll let you all just enjoy this story yea? haha.

cheers.

2006-06-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

well change of plans today.

char couldn't make it.

DANG. BUMMER. BOLLOKS!

oh well.. business calls yeaa char?

another time another time.

we're still young.
well was kinda aimless and thrown off the hook at first.

didn't know where to go,

then in the end go home..

haha..

some kinda ending to the hols.

at home do homework..

how morbid.

but oh well.

SHIT HAPPENS.

just got home recently.

actually wanted to bum at esplanade,

but i thought, oh what's the point.

everything's so expensive.

was very tempted to go buy a pair of couderoy jeans.

but abstained. thank goodness.

oh well, maybe i'll go bike later or something..

anyway, i think i've got a beggining for the story.

still tweaking..

coming soon.

update later then.

have a great saturday all you 3!

jane contact lens

char mystery person.

weijie and his farm animal.

haha! do have fun!

WE'RE STILL YOUNG!

and to all you readers too.

happy saturday.

2006-06-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

oh terra firma!

i am finally back in front of the monitor!

well. i must say things have been going rather breakneck these few days.

okay so here's the quicknotes version.

i have been around these past three days.

and when i say around, i MEAN around.

right. two days ago, sentosa with family and church friends.

celebrated bro's birthday.

oh i almost forgot

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEL!!

yupp. haha.

had fun the first day.

next day, went to harbour front in the morning to HMWK with joy.

its okay weijie. no hard feelings man!

mugged for 3 hrs plus. had lunch, then headed back to sentosa for family again.

TODAY.

headed out early, go weijie's house slack with jane and char b4 bbq

FUN LIKE HELL!

okay.. maybe not hell..

FUN LIKE FUN!

haha.. fooled around like idiots disturbing ppl on msn.

made jane scream.

tweaked with SOMETHING!

well.. not adviceable to describe here.. in case three of us get KILLED! ha!

well headed to jeff loke's house later for bbq!

FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN!

CM rocks.. most definatly!

food was good, playing was good, chillin with weijie, jane, char, carissa, pak was good

in short, the night was PERFECT.

after waited for dad to rescue me..

chatted at the bus stop with wei jie.

dude, its okay man.. we've all come to accept it in time that has passed.

it was difficult at first yeaa. but well its fine and dandy now!

just don't forget our existance, thats all.. 5 simple words, whole lot of meaning.

other than that, you happy, we happy!

yupp we'll be there, don't worry.. just go do your thing! haha!

well anyway, like i said, these few days indeed have rushed by.. 3 more days to the beginning.

the whole world just got a bit complicated.

but its nice.

well, next, to joy,

hey you.. be cheerful okay?

i don't really know how to do this but all i can say is its gonna be okay.

TIME.. well.. we'll see how it goes yea?

well.. i'm kinda lost in thougt now.. well, if life were a movie,

it would be an oscar winning one..

well, we'll just see shall we?

cheers all.

nights.

"life just got a whole lot interesting."