reading helter skelter

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Evening all.
Today's word:
Jazz.

indeed, jazz plays apart in every aspect of my life.
for starters, i've been jazzing my life away as of recently..
yes i know, at least i've started to slow down and start to panic a little,
but, its just funny why we're all not running around screaming like a bunch of crazed loonys but still enjoying life.
jazzing life away, i call it.
people say to me, carpe diem,
but its still swing and swung for me at this stage..
well, i think i'll be swing and swung even during the Os,
but hey, at least i'm starting to panic, a little.
haha.

so, update on life:
mugged up for the sake of it,
wrote a few essays,
worried for a few people, things,
bought a new shirt (finally!)
had a fun friday night.

yess.. other than that, life's just a tad bit boring..
i emphasize, TAD bit.
haha.. like i was telling carissa today, i need more excitement in my life.
haha.. went to see naomi dance today at SAJC.
haha.. cool dance i thought.
great job naomi! haha..
headed down to plaza sing for dinner later, and chatted about dead fish and the impact of it on out civilization, literally its IMPACT.
haha.. it was homeward bound after that.
like i was thinking,
you actually can't expect life to get THAT exciting now, furthermore with the Os and stuff.
perhaps after november, but definatly not now..
well.

like i was telling weijie the other day,
it is only a matter of time before i get buried in a hole.. and the only way to get me out is to bomb me out.
how sad.
well, its good to know that other people are feeling happy still,
at least there is a glimmer of happiness around. somehow.

hmm.. i just realised that i haven't been posting the story for a long time.
haha.. doesn't mean i haven't been working on it..
yes i have been, but haven't found a good place to cut yet.
well, been caught up with many temporal and lets say frivolious things of the late.
looking back, i have no idea what happened then.
personally i'm just speechless, and i guess silence is golden.
well i learnt today to trust more, question less,
lets just say that will be my choice for the course to come.
after all, the aftermath still lingers.

ah yes jane has sent me the pictures.
enjoy.
cheers.

After dinner farce. The ones that made it and the DANCER.

The difference between FUNKY and PLAIN SILLY.

Note: I'm NOT worshipping it. i'm just an activist. haha.

post by joshua at 7:39 AM (x)

Friday, July 28, 2006

Hey folks,
just got back not long,
darn the party topped it today i must say.
a great stress reliever..
well, a continuation of the previous post,
went to meet miss liang and hia before heading there.
got there, food was great, party was great, people were funky.
sang, ate, mingled,played, yaked the whole time.
haah.. now i'm darn tired.
continue tomorrow..
cheers!

post by joshua at 9:39 AM (x)

earliest i've been home so far today.
haha... well, partly due to the event later on at jeremy tan zy's house.
see, its a farewell party. heh.
hopefully its fun. i need a good break now.
well, would have stayed and watched the ndp today.
the band is playing, and i'm missing out! damnn.
haha.. wanna play again..
but, oh well, parents came to fetch bro, so i hopped on too.
now stoning infront here,
still in my uniform.
its 530, meeting miss liang and hia around 730 i think..
or maybe i'll go up myself.
mom got a new laptop.. some singtel thing. haha.
now its wireless! wahaha.. so i don't need to stretch my head to see who comes online next time.
well, 'testing' it out for her now. the battery is kinda at dire straits.

about yesterday,
haha, sorry to give a few people shocks.
i needed to vent it. what happened really was too much.
she didn't deserve it.
to the innocent hydrogen peroxide corroded friend,
i'm sorry if you found it too biting on him.
its just that as a friend, i can't just stand by and watch you go through this torture.
like junior of jeraldine koh wei may rightly said,
its just not right man!
haha.. so forgive me if it was outright contemptuous.
heh.

anyway, i gotta go get ready already..
cya all later!
haha.

cheers.

post by joshua at 2:28 AM (x)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Hiatus.
A long period of rest.
Probably needing a very very good hiatus now.
can't wait for jane's 90 something day countdown to be over.
i wanna travel. heh.
dreams of chiang mai, italy and france keep flitting in and out recently.
the first one is a must go. haha.. still trying to persude.
second and third are dreams, hoping to turn into reality. haha.

damn, this week is rather tedious and tiring.
not at the peak of moods i must say,
but trying to get there. haha.
been bogged down by a whole lot of piling things and trash.

piling things:
homework.
study.
dust under my bed.
the tissue paper in the waste basket.
(the above point, is due to my seriously malfunctioning nose. it has been 4 days. though its better, my throat is now affected and dry. GREAT..)

there's a great imbalance somewhere i'd swear..
the whole world's going topsy turvy half the time i don't even know what hit me.
take for example,
i didn't even know that there was a rule now to stay away from female friends who are hitched and attached.
i thought friends could just stay as friends, no harm,
but somehow the guys seem to have a "they will elope secretly" mentality stuck right up their ass into their cerebellum, and hell they'll just stick with this thinking,
even though the situation is very clear that these two friends are just FRIENDS,
and the chances of them coming together and "eloping secretly" are as low as Ghandi carrying a pistol or beating his kids.
the worst part is, the "offender" doesn't get the punishment, but lo ho ho! the friends attached get the punishment!
all the "offender" gets is a very sullen and black face by the over paraniod guy and a very bad mood.
bad mood? why? because they feel bad that their friends get this sort of punishments and at the same time feel sad for them for enrolling into a nunnery, where inside, they only learn that there is only one guy, and that guy is their beau.
Thats the very first law there. believe me.

lets not be childish about this. we've been friends longer that you've tried to get your hands locked with hers.
nothing is ever going to chage that, and the FACT that we are only FRIENDS.
seriously, if you hadn't had acted like you're totally whack,
and did not have started squealing and giving her the attitude when i come around to talk to her,
i would have thought that she actually might have deserved you and actually congratulated the both of you.
little info, i actually was HAPPY for her when i found out.
now? i REGRET that i actually told her once to follow her heart.
you two wanna live in a world of your own, i'm fine with that,
but please don't restrict her till she can't even have a proper 10 second chat with other guys.
she's trying her best to keep in touch,
but i beseech you, know that a relationship is about trust.
not about keeping the person in a cage just because something might have happened in the passion of the spur of a moment.

i'll be brutally frank here.
i forgive you and lets get on with life.
now the ball is in YOUR court.
play it wise.
cheers.

post by joshua at 5:56 AM (x)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Oh finally..
blogger is up and running today..
felt too whacked yesterday to keep trying.
anyway, my nose has been giving me a whole bunch of trouble lately.
seriously a whole bunch. from work to moods to friends,
i just wanna say i'm sorry for any stupid things done, or caused.
forgive my state of irritation for my health.
trying the funky chinese medicines and stuff, but they seem to work reeaaall slowly.. well..
thank God that today is very much better, compared to yesterday..
haha.. wished jane was there to spike my face yesterday..
at least i'll be knocked out and sedated. ha!
well.. don't really have much to say now..
well maybe except supercalifrageslisticexpialidocious if you'd want me too.
come to think of it, i don't even think its the correct spelling. heh.

post by joshua at 6:07 AM (x)

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Yes i was being ultimatly frank in my previous post.
i realised that this problem really is a big one,
and i'll really have to find what i'm looking for again.. fast.
anyway, other than that, i'm fine and on the way back to my normal cheer.
so i hope that i didn't startle anyone with the previous.
i was just stating feelings.
actually, i was contemplating wether to put this post up,
but i decided, what the hell, since i aready wrote it, why not.
so, i aplogise for any shocks and startles.
NO, i'm not going to commit suicide via means of drinking coke till i die,
and NO i did not smash any windows.
they were just examples.
haha.. i'm still quite happy with life.
i think i'll find what i'm looking for soon,
since i already know what to look for!
haha..
anyway,

to those who know.
thanks alot guys, for cheering me up.
i just want all of you to know that this has just been something to open my eyes bigger to see better and to get my act together.
haha.. no hard feelings. really.
i'll personally thank you guys when i see you all.. haha.

so all in all,
i'm still lovin it!
speaking of that, i feel like having macs.
macs anyone? someday... haha..

post by joshua at 5:03 AM (x)

I woke up not long ago.
I had a dream,
but sadly forgot what it was.

I really do not know what to say about this.
Frankly this is just about the most truthful and sincere that you have of me so far.
What happened yesterday happened for a reason.
That i took as a sign, to haul ass, to press on, to do it with my own blood,
and not with INK on a piece of paper.
I was sad, yes.
I was disappointed, yes.
I was angry at myself, probably.
But i know that if thats what it is, thats what it is.
Thats what He wants, so be it, i'll stay firm and trust.
But what i'm really weeping for, where the cut really cuts deep,
is over the question, "where have my dreams gone to?"
I realise that, sadly, i've lost my dreams.
they've reduced to becoming something that i can't even comprehend already.
or they've been crushed, somehow.
I don't see the masterpiece behind the brass instrument as i used to see anymore.
It has just become a piece of brass to me.
I don't see the passion behind love anymore as i used to feel or hear about.
You fall short, and crash.

What happened yesterday, i can live with.
In fact, i'm already over feeling self pity and anger over what happened.
Like what my friends, family said,
its a learning expierience, and i'll do better the next time.
To you guys, thanks for being there, really.
I'll take this as something that will push me harder in getting to where i want to,
and yes, i'm fine already.
but what i can't live with, is that my dreams have somehow been extinguished.
well, i can cry over it, smash windows, drink coke till i die,
but hey, its not going to help, its NEVER going to help.
I can leave it, and retain my cheer, go to school tomorrow, meet friends, be cheerful,
but still having that hole there that will slowly expand and one day consume me.
To all you out there who feel as if you have lost your dreams, or perhaps maybe in the hustle and bustle of this world, you have forgotten it,
i just wanna say i understand, and i'm sorry for thinking that it was no big deal before.
now i'm here, i can say that it hurts.
and i guess, the only thing that we can only do,
is to just start dreaming all over again.
and in Faith, in time,
we'll find that spark again.

I'll be fine.

post by joshua at 4:19 AM (x)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

My feet are aching..
oww.. but, i'm not regretting. haha!

well, spent the whole good saturday out today with my two great friends weijie and elis.
well, valerie came along. BUT, to the valerie chua reading this, valerie here is elis's niece, or grandcousin, or something like that. haha..
anyway, the to-do list was very short and sweet today,
1. get boot laces (weijie)
2. get shin guards (weijie)
3. buy weijie a collared shirt.
4. elis wants clothes.
5. joshua wants to slack.
well, we managed to complete all of the above, so you could call today fruitful. haha..
erm, for all you out there who might be probably wondering where no.1 2 and 3 fit,
1 and 2 was just weijie's list. 3 was weijie's early birthday present for an animal farm occasion.
i was just compiling everything up, see?
haha.. anyway, wasn't too perked up in the early afternoon, due to a certain matter of disappointments and a growling stomach, of course not pertaining to those 2! haha..
but it turned out fine i'd say after lunch. haha..

i just got a call.
it did not bode well.
i'm feeling like shat now.
crap.

post by joshua at 6:42 AM (x)

Friday, July 21, 2006

hmm i just found my old school diaries..
haha.. sure does bring back many memeories.
had a blast reading through them again. hmm..

well hello folks. haven't been having the luxury of being able to blog lately..
today marks the point in my life where everything comes full circle.
you see today is FSB's hand over.
my last phototaking with the band.
the last time i'll be able to wear the blazers.
however, full circle as we may call it,
or perfect square or equilateral triangle for that matter,
it sure did not feel FULL at all.
we talk endlessly about the importance of roots,
the essence of tradition, the strength of bondage,
but rip out the very foundation and roots intervowen with tradition that spans over many years in an instant.
pity ain't it?

anyway, i would just like to say a BIG THANK YOU to FSB for making me who i am today.
seriously. i wouldn't be the person i am today if it was not for FSB.
well, my seniors would agree wholeheartedly on it.. yeaa guys?
miss the scoldings, encouragements, funky times, and of course the MUSIC.
Do listen to Amelia now that i'm gone eh?
you all can consider it my "dyingwish".. haha..
and YES... chauh aiwee.. i want my FAREWELL!!! haha..

well.. alls well that ends well.. thats all i gotta say.
and good riddance to bad rubbish.
well..so, basically, if one took out a certain midgit i mean fidgit,
and blocked out a few rays of sueable hairstyle,
today has indeed been full circle,
or perfect square, or equilateral triangle for that matter.
haha.

enjoy the shots folks.

josh. joa. val. sel. issac.

2005-2006.without alston..again...

The NIRMA.

NO MORE nirma. haha..

Jolly good I must say..

Val! Weijie! Josh! Joa!

"This guy is hot.." says weijie.. haha!

Ongsy and co.

All's well that ends well.indeeed..
cheers.

post by joshua at 7:39 AM (x)

Monday, July 17, 2006

I just realised something.
i ran out of foolscap paper.
thats bad.

well, just came home not long.
big mistake today to take 197.
it took hell long.. actually it looped around the area.
talk about around the bushes.
this went literally AROUND the bush just to get to marine parade.
should have just waited for 196, at least that would be STRAIGHT, with a little looping.
haha.. well, dozed off on the bus, so it wasn't that bad.
had chinese listening compre today.
the last part of the whole long chinese os.
and it was GOOD!
somehow.. i could understand and do the questions. wahaha!
its over!! for now..
be glad.. haha.. anyway,
headed to queensway shopping centre with weijie, elis and kim later that afternoon.
i am VERY puzzled and boggled by something.
how can queensway shopping centre, a reknowned sports apparel merchat "flag-ship"
lack a simple 2 strands of soccer boot shoelaces??!!
we literally trapeezed around the levels, and only found bootlaces in 1 out of 7 shops!
sad thing was that the bootlaces did not match weijie's boot colour. aww..
anyway, was fruitless this trip.. we'll try again soon eh dude? haha..
and just pray that the next place we go to will be INFLUXED with bootlaces.
well anway went to ikea for a snack later on..
met celeste there! all you people who are now going,"celeste.. sounds familiar.."
yes she is, primary school mate.. err.. now in cresent girls.
haha.. small world.

anyway, val wants me to put up more pictures.
so here there are for your viewing pleasure. haha.
enjoy.

Here's one for the egoist. haha. YOU enjoy this!!

Hmm.. would you believe me if i said we were acting in singing in the rain?
Do you guys see a similarity??

Not exactly very inviting.
This is just to make val happier.. old times, val, dear senior and i..
cheers.

post by joshua at 5:09 AM (x)

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Song of the day:
"Wings" by gustavo santaolalla.
it's the last track of brokeback mountain.
its main theme. really a haunting melody.
it just makes you sit back and ponder, freedom, love, time, space.
gee.. if only i had been born a cowboy in wyoming.. find a nice lady, settle down with sheep and great sweeping lands with the mountains as my neighbours. kids to fockle and play on the porch,
a nice simple, quiet yet vast life.
If Only.

well. life is definatly throwing a curved ball these few days.
you can just feel it leave a deep mark.
like carissa rightly said in her blog, four long years finally cut down to four short months.
its going to end soon, whether we like it or not.
don't you just think life is a tragic story, a splendid poem, woven through fabrics of feelings, through the fabric of time.
an oscar winning performance.
a pulitzer prize,
a nobel book prize.
many things spell LIFE and represent all its glorious splendour,
but we're forgetting the main thing.
life, at the end of the day, behind the mask of so many different metaphors that anyone can ever come up with, is sadly and realistically, still LIFE.
it hasn't been that simple.
life, is LIFE!
that simple. the complication comes when people try to interprete it, when its all in their face.
that results in screwups and falling short.
take away all the assumptions and interpretations, and hell just live it.

right. day was pretty okay.
went to support my little creatures after class today.
FSB got a silver! and i'm happy!
why? because they improved a great lot! 75 percent.
just 5 percent more! in time we'll see results.
have faith. like mr sim said, move on and work harder!
to FSB:
guys, though i was late in catching you all play,
(i'm really very sorry.. i felt like a total jerk when i arrived),
but all i've gotta say is great job on the silver! at least we maintained!
well, the journey is still long, and there's time to improve!
great improvement in this competition by the way!
in the competition, you all might notice something.
a case on ship jumping.
okay. not ship jumping, but ship abandoning.
all i gotta say to that is, good riddance to bad rubbish.
we don't need such things. we're a blessed group of people!
don't get complacent, and just strive for the best!
go you guys!

after that went for dinner with val selene and alston.
took a stroll around suntec city after that.
selene's free camera was kinda bizzaire.. hmm..
well, actually, my mood is dipping today.
its called low sugar rush.
talking about sugar rushes..
according to mrs kwa, it has been scientifically proven that for a couple, the average sugar rush will last for 6 months. true? you tell me.
well, i'm kinda 30 percent happy, 50 percent dismal, 15 percent regretful and 5 percent angsty.
talk about mixed up huhh.
when transparency capitalizes over good humouredness, the rain will come.
i've said my peace.

well waiting for sel to send the photos, and i'll end with a collage today.
hope you guys like it.
goodnight!

Char and I! the restricted and the retro!

Josh. Val. Alston. Sel

WIDE.

Marylin!

Versus CHANEL. haha!
Barney never was THAT friendly.

Likewise, val was NEVER THAT sweet!! aww..

It was bad. trust me. haha.

They make good friends.
cheers!

post by joshua at 8:27 AM (x)

Friday, July 14, 2006

Hello folks.
To FSB:

to all of my little creatures,
all the best for tomorrow's competition.
You guys really have improved a GREAT deal.
Thank God that He blessed FSB with a good conductor.
hoping that he stays for good. i can see hope in his staying.
Do have fun tomorrow. main thing is not the prize, or the glory.
its about the passion. what we play up there as musicians.
our main purpose is not to compete, not to gain glory,
but to "play to our heart's content".
do that tomorrow, and you guys will be just fine.
leave everything else to Him above.
Have Fun!
i'll see all of you there.

life indeed has been slow the past few days.
just had my oral exams for chinese.
totally sucked to the core.
never in a million, gazillion, trillion years would i have expected the question.
do i look like i sue my parents?
seriously.. haha...

post by joshua at 6:23 AM (x)

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Funny i seem to have the sudden urge to conduct.
ever since the start of yesterday.
i've been feeling vibes and waves of which i can't explain.
i think i've been out of the buisiness for too long.
i HUNGER to conduct, HUNGER to play the sax..
i need SAX!! ophone that is...
maybe i should just steal one from the band room one day.
i have the urge to do all things musical suddenly.
actually, it has been my dream just to conduct once.
any band, any song. just a dream.
hoping that this year would shine some light on it somehow.
but meanwhile, the hunger still remains.
norman's idea of a band suddenly seems VERY VERY interesting.

oh by the way, trivia time.
a little more about me.
i've always wanted to own a jazz club.
a nice one next to a nice lazy canal in italy.
shared this with norman that day. he seemed pretty keen.
looking for buisiness partners. anyone? haha..
you do the buisiness, i get the jazz, set.
tell me if you are interested.

yupp that was a little peak.
just got off messenger and the books.
feeling very empty for music now.
haven't really been playing for the past 3 weeks.
only have the piano to keep me company.
but, deep inside,
my heart is calling out for the one instrument that will satisfy me TOTALLY.
you all know what that is yeaa.
well. gonna nap now. will try to wake later at 130.
hopefully if i don't make it, weijie will succeed. thanks dude by the way.
catch it later on!
cheers!

Laments of a SAX addict.

post by joshua at 8:31 AM (x)

Hey all!
haha.. just came back from church not long..
really tired out..
caught the match last night, and whoo it was so hard trying to stay awake.
well. actually, i failed miserably and ended up sleeping for the second half.
woke up only to hear the german anthem playing.
shucks. haha..
BUT, at least germany won.
to carissa once again,
sadly, micheal ballack's locks didn't inspire much shock today to portugal's bollocks,
wait, he didn't even play today!! well, but your wish came true.. GERMANY reigned.
all hail the germans! long live the queen!
haha.

pirates of the caribbean tonight folks.
do catch it.
captain jack sparrow never acted so loony.
haha.. destress yourself from the hustle and bustle of the day and just laugh your socks off!
oh not to mention the finals.. haha!
you all GOTTA watch it!
even joaquina's gonna watch it,
so why not you?? haha..
its pasta versus escargot tonight.
bon appetite all you socceroos one last time.

well academia has been slow the past few days.
been havin fun and stuff.
actually frankly i don't see what's wrong with having fun too.
just as long you get something done at the end of the day, its fine.
well, a new week is at hand.
really hoping to get things done.

arhh well its raining today.
brings me back to so many things.
the time where you just spend your entire day talking about life,
thinking about the things that matter the most,
feel down, cheer others up,
play a song, listen to jazz,
those were what rainy days meant to me, a long time ago.
That time now feels so close, but yet so distant.
somehow.

till later all! haha..
cheers!

post by joshua at 2:00 AM (x)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Greetings.
firstly, the tagboard is up. To your right, scroll down.
finally i must say.
once again kudos to jane for setting it up.
've been a real help doing this whole thing.
i'm kinda not blog savvy,
so jane here has to help out here and there..
savvy?

speaking of savvy,
pirates of the caribbean is gonna be good..
looks good, feels good.
well, looking forward to hear the same familliar theme played by the band on 2 occasions again.
well was just blog surfing.
my goodness..
don't you just cringe when you open a page and an oh-so-cliched-and-sappy, and not to mention loud song comes on and starts screeching and alarming everyone in the room?
or when you open up a page and scary looking pictures of razzling, dazzling "cute" humans pop up as fast as you can say "wasabe" and take your breath away, for the wrong reasons altogether?
they seem to promote peace and appear to be from the UN's peace party,
but i'll be a monkey's uncle that that sign actually has a secret "i am cuter and more bimbotic than you" message waiting to blare itself to the viewers along with all the pinkness you can ever be radiated with in the whole wide colour spectrum.
whoo.. scary..
by the way, this is random.
only applies to people who appear in these categories.
no offence

well, day was average.
it was a usual "i'm no desperate housewives" kind of saturday.
nothing much.
cheers.

post by joshua at 6:01 AM (x)

Friday, July 07, 2006

Hello all!
as promised here's the update on life.
haha.
well, firstly, i would like to take the time to express my joy and happiness to 5 dear friends whom i have had the previledge of meeting.
WEI JIE CHAR ELIS NAT JANE.
before i met them, i was still bumming,
waiting and hoping that the Lord help me find my true friends one day.
One rainy night, during the last day of TP OBS 2005.
i was aquainted with WEI JIE.
everything changed from that day on.
You can say that everything just fell into place.
Chiang Mai, everything just came,
and the Lord really has blessed me with these wonderful true friends that i can keep for, well lets just say a VERY, VERY LONG time.
JANE came next, followed by CHAR, then ELIS and NAT.

THE dog. woof. (not to mention a squirrel.)
a cat (who incidentally is a great squirrel counterpart too.)
a pokemon. with its fire on its head.
a tigress. whoo.. furry and fierce.
a donkey. well.. one of its kind.
an unidentified. we'll find out soon! don't worry!

To you 5 dear animals,
you all have really added colour and joy into my life.
never failing to brighten up my days and making them.
as the year is about to draw to a smashing big season finale,
its just my biggest regret not knowing you all earlier.
yupp well, though the four of us can't, like weijie said retain for another year
(although the toughts are tempting. haha!)
but we'll always find each other somehow someways,
and never let this end, never saying goodbye.
but in the meantime, ENJOY ALL THIS TO THE FULLEST! ha!
hmm.. most definatly, you 5 are SWELL.
i've said my peace.

yeaa..
so, bout life.
wednesday.
subway at jp with the 5 aminals.
subway was good. haha.
after that went to walk in toys r us.
haha.. the gals did the thingymajig colour thingy.
1 hr of colouring, accidentally mixing colours, colouring again.
ha.
got back, muggg.. unfortunatly..

thursday.
BORINGG... tuition.
vectors.
sucked BIG TIME.
confusion in the air.

FRIDAY. TODAY.
school ended at 12!
headed to swensens with the 5 animals for unlimited ice cream!
GOOD GOOD GOOD.
actually.. weijie jane and i only survived to 4 scoops.
while char did a whopping 12 scoops,
last time. haha!
incredible.
had 3, already couldn't take it..
went to look for sun with weijie to "melt the ice cream in the stomach".
went back, fourth one,
surrender.
man..
till now.. i'm still feeling kinda bloated.
well.. a new idea is in the making and process.
its gonna be GOOD.
haha! well..
i'm gonna mug for mr "i-love-plasmids-they-are-the-world's-most-interesting-boredom" chan's bio test.
catch ya around.

cheers.

post by joshua at 7:27 AM (x)

You cross the halls in their innocent silence,
play some jazz on the record player.
their notes trail off with the tinge of everlasting eternity,
and the sweet serenade moves and drives you to fleets above the normal cloud nine.
Suddenly the windows must be closed, the air cooled,
and you have the urge to stir up a cup of warm exotic flavors.
So across goes the windows, and down comes the blinds,
softly extinguishing the blazing lights, to a lustrous seduction.
The air suddenly feels soft, as soft as the pleasant whispers from a lover's heart, and you are contented.

You sit with the company of unseen angels, and together savor the moment.
You let the soft notes guide you, seduce you and inspire you,
as you cross the land of beauty and splendor, the land decorated by the simple sophistication of afternoon jazz.
You sit, and reminiscence, think about the good and the bad, the ups and the downs,
the long and the short.
You remember the fall of the seasons, the change of the tide, the old faces, the new faces, the happiness, the sadness.
How time has robbed everyone of their time together.
You ponder the startling irony, and in an instant, you are sad.
A new life awaits you at the end of the path like a mother waiting to embrace your child.
You see yourself running to the end, happy and grateful that life has given all of you the opportunity to take the wonderful path,
but among you, you see others, running in a different direction, some into the sunset, some across you, others still running that part of their lives.
Faces you will never get to meet again, words never to be said again, laughters never to be heard again,
you look around you, and find you are alone, alone in this path to the start of the horizon.

At this moment, the darkness engulfs you, swallowing you whole in the face of a new beginning.
The irony tears you apart, setting fires of passionate sadness blazing within your heart.
What you have come so far to built, insecurity sneaks in and tears it apart.
But in the heat of the fleeting passions and sadness, the lustre holds out,
the jazz plays on. It is then you realise that true friends play on as well.
Remember the bliss, the comfort, and the love.
You remember the promises, set apart by trueness, and kept within the secrets of the heart for an eternity to come, worn on the shoulders of friendship.
It is then you smile, you remember, you trust.

And as You open your eyes,
smiling, remembering, trusting,
the jazz plays on, just as the friendships run on,
into the sunset on the horizon,
and that is when,
I realise that i am,
Indeed having the time of my life.

Cheers.

post by joshua at 4:53 AM (x)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Things i must remember to do before the week ends.

Find my darned comments space thingy. apparently it went on a "oh-you-can't-find-or-see-me" holiday ever since i changed the template. BAD comments. BAD.
Comfort carissa on Germany's lost. Carissa, i'm so sorry that micheal ballack's locks couldn't inspire much shock to italy's bollocks. well at least they have four more years to pull up their socks. really sad.. well, i'm sure GERMANY will reign soon!
Comfort Naomi on Brazil's lost. well, actually only one word will do the trick. observe. Naomi, KAKA!!!!! (serious panting from other side of the line..) see?
Unfortunatly mug up for the upcoming Bio, A math tests and Chemistry MINI QUIZ (i seriosly do not see a difference), to avoid Mr "i-love-plasmids-they-are-the-world's-most-interesting-boredom" Chan, miss yeo and miss liang from throwing anything molecularly damaging or converted to three significant figures at us, then inviting us to "try again" to repeat this devastating cycle all over again. once is quite enough thank you very much.
Touching on academic matters, have you ever wondered, why we study the wierdest of topics? take locus for example. i really DO NOT SEE THE POINT in drawing random lines and circles on a piece of blank paper. seriously.. i finally understand where the phrase "one flew over the cuckoo's nest came from".. it originated from some nut case drawing circles and lines under the facade of "constructing" well planned and academically sound "constructions".. sheesh.. sets and matrices are other troublemakers, but that's another story altogether..

Well thats all i can muster for now.. like what a certain all time famous body-builder-that-decided-that-acting-was-cool-before-being-a-governor had said once playing a hitman, or robot, or some foreign body for that matter, "i'll be back."

cheers.

post by joshua at 3:52 AM (x)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Not to startle anyone, but i am OKAY already..
thanks for the concern.
ignore the previos post.
haha..
i'm smiling.
are you?
cheers.

post by joshua at 5:52 AM (x)

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Do you ever have the feeling that you've been stepped upon, taken for a fool and spat in the face?
well. today is not a good day.
don't know.. started the afternoon in a very foul mood today.
no particular reason.
just felt very vindictive and frustrated all of a sudden.
life has been good, yes, but its just THAT part.
the rest sucks. seriously.
a mental timer constantly screaming in your head and counting down days to imminent doom is not very easy to ignore.
with the warnings and the bells there, getting down to work is the next big difficulty.
i just can't seem to get down with it.
i'm just hanging on to a hope that i'll just snap awake and get things sorted out and clarified.

well there you have it.. i just went through a special complementary parent's worry session with dear dad.
well.. actually.. i'm frustrated not because they're wrong and i'm right and all so glorious..
but because i know their right and i'm not doing anything about it to stop meself getting distrated.
yes, surprise surprise, joshua lim gets distracted.
yes i know the stereotype you people have, nerd, mugger, good to take advantage of, go ask him to do all my homework, bug him for he looks harmless and since he looks like he fills his head with a sack of books and nothing else, that he doesn't have a life, can't find anyone, weak, disturbed, yea rip him off since he looks like a freaking somebody you can bloody take advantage of.
well to all you piss poor attitudes out there, this "little bugger of a nerd" does have a life, and feelings too incidentally. and YES, i freaking get distracted. doesn't mean i smile like a fool everyday means i'm someone you can screw around with mentally. chances are you'll just screw yourself over all the same in your confusion and end up looking all stupid. so i have an advice. why don't you all just take that piss poor attidude of yours, and shove it right UP your ass.
i'm done with this bullshit.

i'm sorry. that had to come out.
well i'm distracted all righty these days,
and everyone seems to be preoccupied with... i don't know.. everyone else?
well sometimes i just wonder why i bother about other things that don't concern me,
other people's problems and stuff.
i've tried not bothering, but i just realise that i'll become miserable not making people happy again.
i can't NOT bother. its just not me. so rest assured i'll not STOP bothering.
i'll just be the same throughout. just today a little extra spice.
anyway, i'd guess i'm gonna push forward as usual.
i still have others to push to go forward, others to keep encouraging, to keep showing that i BOTHER.
seriously i don't usually expect an appreciation,
but sometimes you just need one just to keep you smiling you know?

well guess its onwards then.
have to get back to the books.
never giving up,
the Lord will be OUR guide.
amen.

sorry for the outburst.

post by joshua at 8:08 AM (x)

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Boy all of you must be wondering why i'm still up at this unearthly hour.
well, was watching a movie.
don't say a word, by micheal douglas.
its quite good.
haha.. but now i can't seem to sleep.
well. brazil v.s. france in about 8 minutes time.
hell i'm not THAT crazy to watch that match.
couldn't possibly wake up tomorrow if i did anyway.
so here's the update for tonight.
england is out, portugal is in, movie was good, and the lead actress of 6 days 7 nights shot a flair at a palm tree.
what could have been better?

well big apologies to my three doinks just now.
i was VERY distracted.
sorry if i sounded laggy, despondent or fake in any sense.
its not everyday when you have everything happening at once.
we'll talk again soon yea?
take my gentleman's word for it.
well.. not saying that i'm a gentleman..
but well, you three get the point ya?
haha..

well. should start following people's advice and get a tag board soon.
hmm. wonder what surprises it'll bring.
so, in the past 6 minutes of ranting and stuff,
i still haven't kick started any yawns in my system.
now that is pretty bad folks.
so, i'll just post a few photos and we'll call it a day ya?
cheers.

3:00 exact. sweet.

ughh.. this sucks.
i can't upload.
why? i don't know. haha.. another day then.
bye!

post by joshua at 11:55 AM (x)

Phrase of the day:
poetry in motion.

a phrase dedicated to the art of speed,
to the beauty of creation.
the sophistication and splendour of movement.

indeed.
its just beautiful, the way the words are expressed.
haha.
anyway, today was quite uninteresting..
class, that sort.
now juggling between 6 days 7 nights and football.
great shows..
spoilt for choice.
oh i have nothing to say today.
just, i hope to world is still spinning properly tomorrow.
cheers.

post by joshua at 7:51 AM (x)